I don't understand...

[codyluver05]

Hey everyone! Most of ya'll know who I am.

 

I am kind of having a trust issue going on with my boyfriend. He is away right now right?

 

Well just tonight I came accross a profile on a singles website today. It was my boyfriends. I was looking on the website to see if he was on there, and well he was.

 

I don't understand why he would do this?

 

Another thing is I got on his e-mail the other day to check it for him and he had a couple femailes on his IM. One of them messaged me thinking I was him. I found out that he was really anxious to know where her body piercing s and tattoos were. Not to mention they were talking on-line unitl 5 am.

 

I don't know hwy my b/f would do this seeing as how he tells me to check his mail?

 

I don' think he loves me. I feel lied and cheated and betrayed. But i love him and i don't want to loose him.

 

WHAT DO I DO? I need major help bad

Thanks.....

[mermayd]

Well, I have been through a very similar experience. Although, my experience involved an ex girlfriend rather than a stranger. But I hope what I have to say will be of some help to you.

First, he did lie and betray you and you have every right to be mad as hell at him. You can be mad at him for as long as it takes.

On my 3-4 month journey of a similar saga, this is what I have to offer:

~You do NOT have to trust him right away, he has to earn it back

~Bring it up any time you feel down about it or feel suspicious. If he doesnt like it, he shouldnt have done it in the first place.

~Talk to him about it. Ask him why he did what he did. Ask him if he feels something is missing. Tell him your concerns. Tell him not to expect you to trust him for a while. Tell him how you feel. Even when a new feeling comes up, communicate with him. it will make you feel better and it will help him to understand the weight of his actions.

~Try not to accuse him of still doing it. many times when someone feels they are being accused, even if they are not doing anything wrong, they will do something because they figure "Im being accused of it, I may as well DO it"

~Ask him to be open with you from now on and ask to see IM's and emails every so often.

~Give him a second chance. This is the biggie. As horrible as things may feel to you (and believe me, I KNOW how you feel...I have had many endless nights of crying too) he made a mistake and is only human. Everyone deserves a second chance. Look at the people in your life who have gotten second chances. Have they pulled through and not behaved the same way in the future?

I hope what I have said sheds some light for you. It sounds like our situations are very similar so if you ever would like to talk, feel free to message me.

[Nobody Special]

The trouble with the net is that it is very easy to talk to people. Maybe he just requires someone to speak to. Just because his profile is on a singles website doesn't mean he's cheating on you in anyway.

 

So what if he is talking to a woman till 5am it's just conversation.

 

Haven't you ever spoken to someone for ages and not realised the time?

 

If you are talking about trust you have also broken it by snooping on his pc. How do you think he is going to feel? You may be blowing things all out of proportion. These women he talks to may just be people he wants to talk to.

 

After all you speak to men don't you? Well maybe not till 5am, but you aren't given the chance to, but on the net things are different.

 

People always want to be accepted and when someone takes an interest in another it is always nice to talk to someone. So what if he's asking a woman about a piercing, if I find out someones got a piercing I'm always interested in what they are and where they are also the same with tattoos.

 

Besides she would most probably have been the one to ask about them and then he would have asked her why such a strange question.

 

Don't jump to conclusions, the best thing to do is ask. People always require companionship, with you he's got your love. Do you feel he's treating you any different?

 

If you don't mention it, this is going to eat you inside and nothing good will come of it. It may be harmless fun, but if you don't ask him sooner or later you are going to burst. But remember you may feel betrayed, but you have also betrayed him.

[Nobody Special]

Golly that puts things in a different perspective.

 

I didn't know all that, but yes the choice is totally up to you. There are men out there who will treat you better. Use this time away from him to decide.

 

Make a list of all his good points and bad points. If his list of bad points outweigh the good, pehaps it's time to move on.