What time is the right time?

[shep88ner]

ok, before you look to the left and see my age, dont ask why im in the marriage forums just yet. hear me out...ok...now that thats out of the way. i have a question. me and my girlfriend have been dating 1 year in january and we really love eachother. im not saying we're going to get married or anything, but typicaly how long does a relationship last until you're engaged? she seems to want to be married in 5 years. but that only puts her in like, her junior year of college or something. i dont know. im not going to propose or anything crazy so i dont want replies telling me how im too young and all this bla bla. but yea, about age are people engaged? or how long are they typicaly dating? and what age or dating length do people usually marry? thanks!

[Dako]

I'll skip the bla bla bla and hope others do too.

 

I dated my ex-wife for two years before we decided to marry.

I was about right for us.

[shes2smart]

I'm going to throw your average waaaay off by tossing in my stats.

 

Chatted with my husband on line and on the phone for about 3-4 weeks, then had first r/l date.

 

One week after first date, he proposed (with a ring he bought 3 days after first date)

 

We were married less than a year later...(July 02)

 

Best decision either of us has ever made.

 

At the time we met, I was 37 (and had never been married) and he was 26. The "wedding" (just me & him at the courthouse with a minister they keep on hand for such occasions) took place about 6 weeks after my 38th birthday and a few weeks before his 27th birthday. The "reception" included us going out to lunch, the movies and swimming our apartment complex's pool afterwards. No guests, no wedding gown, no tux, no florist, no caterer, no band, no booze, no church.....and no big bill for the whole dog & pony show, either.

 

I realize that my experiences are not at all typical....most folks date their future spouse longer, have more of a to-do sort of wedding, and do all of this at a younger age than I did. But I like how it played out in my life just fine.

[nicorette]

i think it really depends on how both of you guys feel..im the same age as you, 18, and have been dating the same guy since i was 15..yet i dont want to even consider marriage for at least another 5 years, and to be realistic i doubt itll be with him although i am very happy and very in love with him.

i think its just when it feels right. i dotn think tehre shoudl be a timed plan and all that

[valenski]

I dont think its something that has a maturity date like an insurance policy but more the highest level of committment two people can make to each other, when courtship is over and both are ready to say to the world " I committ myself to only you" That I feel is the moment a couple is ready to become husband and wife.

[shep88ner]

i think it really depends on how both of you guys feel..im the same age as you, 18, and have been dating the same guy since i was 15..yet i dont want to even consider marriage for at least another 5 years, and to be realistic i doubt itll be with him although i am very happy and very in love with him.

i think its just when it feels right. i dotn think tehre shoudl be a timed plan and all that

 

 

if you've been dating for 3 years and you are happy and very in love with him, why the doubt?

[Newo Ikkin]

Am engaged at nearly 18 - no plans for marriage.

Had been "dating" him for 10/11 months before he proposed.

No regrets.

B A L L S to age restrictions.

[jilligirl]

It varies for everyone. My sister dated her husband for 1 year before getting engaged. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 years now, and I am not even ready to get engaged yet.

 

Thing is, is that you have to be with them long enough to truly know them, and how they really are. Believe it or not, after a couple of years of being with someone, you're STILL finding things out about them (what their habits are, what their attitude is, what they're really like, etc.).

 

As for engagement, people typically stay engaged for 1.5-3 years. But it's not set in stone. Some people stay engaged for a year, and others for 5+ years.

 

All this set aside, though: If I were you, I'd hold off on marriage until you are both done with college and when you both have good, fulltime jobs. Getting married and moving in together is a big financial responsibility, and you need to make sure that you can both support yourselves.