loner

[MythicDawn]

Since university started for my "friends" and I, things have really changed. With everyone studying and working there is no time to spend with anyone. Seems like, the free time people have is spent with their significant others or, going out to the bar.

 

I dont like dancing, I dont like drinking so that leaves me with sitting at home... alone... again... like every other night.

 

I've become so distant from my "friends", I dont consider them to even be my friends. Its come down to an msn conversation maybe once a week to somebody. The only person I have in my life I can talk to, is my sister who lives a province away.

 

Every night, every week I feel more and more alone secluded and forgotten. Most people will say this is my own fault and yes it is, I agree. But i'm such an introverted people that meeting new people is not an easy option for me.

 

My interests are not things that involved social groups. After I attempted suicide, my parents found out and my father had a long talk with me about doing things I enjoy and finding people who do them as well.

 

But it always seems like, everyone is too busy. I dont know... I met a girl, last week and I was excited but she blew me off for some other guy.

 

I'm not unattractive and I dont have a low self esteem but I just can't meet someone who is remotely like me. I feel like i'm just this one little fishy in lake full of sharks.

 

I'm dropping out of university too, if I'm not enough of a loner already. I have a good job, my coworkers are nice. They say I am weird, some say I am creepy. One girl is very nice to me and I talk to her a little bit, but thats only on breaks at work, she's always at parties or again... stuff I dont enjoy doing.

 

I dont know what to do... I feel so alone... I figure If i look for someone on the internet it might be someone who is so introverted as I am, looking for someone else... But that seems exceedinly impossible.

 

idk, things seem to hard and pointless... If I didnt have my sister and parents.... No one would notice if I had died, that to me... seems sad...

 

Thx for reading this.

bye

[ElegantOverkill]

i know the feeling! its hard to motivate yourself into meeting new people... i think you need to step out of your comfort zone and try to go out, or pick up a new hobby. and do you have to drop out of your university? these are the things that are helping me. i too am a bit introverted but sometimes you need to go out on that limb and try something new. hang in there i know how you feel but be strong and things will get better.

[MythicDawn]

As far as university goes, there is nothing there of interest to me. Nothing that I want to take and what I do take, I end up failing miserably so it's better that I just spent time working rather than wasting money on tuition.

 

The only interests I'm getting into is camping/hiking which definitely doesn't help with meeting new people. Astronomy is something I'm looking at picking up, but the astronomy club here in the city is all older adults. People I can't relate to all that much.

 

It's nice to know there are people out there similar to me. I just wish they were not so hard to find in person. *sigh*

[Lily04]

hey...

 

I felt that way a lot before. What was key for me was developing friends through classes and activities where I could met people with shared interests. I've posted this multiple times, but in short -- find your passion. That will lead you to where you want to go. What do you like to do? Share it with people. You'll meet people like you.

 

I'd also suggest not dropping out of university because you're depressed and feeling helpless. If you have an interest in a subject/area of study there, pursue that. It doesn't haev to be academic necessarily -- you could switch schools, go to college. I think you just need direction. Dropping commitments and such a huge investment when you're feeling at the most vulnerable in your life that you're considering suicide may not be the best thing to do... because you're not in teh right frame of mind to make such big decisions.

 

Maybe just take some time off... go to a counsellor/registrar at your school and you can probably get a year or even 2 off, to figure things out, if need be..

 

Don't worry. I'm sure things will get better. I felt that way multiple times in 1st year, I didn't really like 1st yr of uni. at all actually. 2nd year was much better, and this year is pretty good so far (I'm in 4th year.)

 

Take care, let us know how you're doing,

 

Lily

[ElegantOverkill]

i know what you mean. yes its tough but i think that you have to get i with a group of people and sociolize a bit and you will find that there are a ton of people like you and me. try the astronomy thing you may just surprise yourself. i did the same thing a few years back. i got into a police class and that is where i met my last gf. go out on that limb! lol we are out there, or trying and kicking our self to get out there. look at it this way.. if you, me, and everyone else who has our somewhat shy personalitys never took the chance to try something new we would all be sitting here just talking about it on the internet and we would never meet.

[MythicDawn]

Thanks

Helps Alot