Wondering why this happened?

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Everyone!

I've posted my story on here a few times, but the short-hand of it is my ex broke up with me this past summer, and I was a wreak for the first 2-3 months, but now I feel great. Don't think about it really every anymore (usually a few times a day when very big things remind me of him)....so things are great for me right now, but I just saw a picture of him and I felt kind of sad and like I missed him

 

Why do I feel this way when for the past month and a 1/2, I've felt like "Im over him". I was actually tempted to break my LONG NC STREAK and say hi...why did all these feelings that I thought were gone come back? (I hate that I feel this way again, but it also feels like it's going to be gone in a little while)

 

Any advice from anyone would be helpful, or if this has happened to anyone....

THANKS SO MUCH

 

STB

 

*your day is coming*

[Hope75]

Hey There,

 

It's not so unusual that a picture or an object that reminds you of the person brings back a rush of memories and feelings, especially if it ended with you still having feelings.

 

Just try to remember why you intitiated NC in the first place, and ask yourself if contacting him will be a good thing, or if it will only make the hurt that more acute and ultimately make you feel worse.

 

My guess is if you contact him, he sounds happy, has moved on, is possibly dating someone, that opening that wound is just going to make it hurt more and set you back.

 

I don't think I'd do it if I were you.

[L.J.]

Maybe you are stronger now and feeling you are "over him". Maybe emotionally accepting the breakup and not hurting as much and actually cheerishing the good memory so you miss him?

 

I think it's healthy to feel that way, don't you? I wouldn't break NC though, not unless I am very certain it won't send me to the threshold of hell again. I honestly think you came too far to deserve that.

 

Keep posting so I can learn from your progress.

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Hope...thanks for the reply/advice

 

He moved on in the summer-I found out by friends that he moved on real quick, so I know he's happy, but so am I, or at least I thought I was! When I saw the picture, I was overwhelmed with feeling bad, but now I feel fine. Is it normal to still get upset when you see a picture or get reminded of an ex?

 

 

Hey L.J.

I have accepted the break up a while ago which is why I feel great now, but then seeing this picture brought up feelings that I haven't felt since the summer! I'm glad I didn't break NC though-it would have been worse if I did, so knowing that helps

Thanks for the advice

 

STB

[Hope75]

Ive had that reaction in the past where I've seen a picture of an ex and felt sad that we were apart and that it didn't work out. I've found that the times when I really felt down, I wasn quite 100% over him.

 

Now, when I see a picture of an ex or something that reminds me of him (or like when I actually saw him a few months ago) I feel ambivilant, because I am very happy and successful in my life now and have been with a wonderful man for 4 years and am very happy.

 

So yes, I think your response is normal, but no, I don't think you should contact him.

 

Hope this helps!