words of advice

[steff]

i was raped three weeks ago, and spent three weeks in a psych ward.

 

i have trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, or happiness that may come.

 

please any words of advice????

[barbielovesmac]

That's deep, and no one should ever have to go through that. But unfourtanetly, in your case you did.

 

It hasn't been very long at all, so it is going to be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. Wow, I wouldn't even expect to see it at this time. I've never been in your shoes, but its not hard to know that it has got to be an emotional and physical pain for you.

 

There is always the light at the end of the tunnel. Time will heal your wounds. Although you'll never forget, you will move forward. It's all a matter of time.

[arwen]

Hey steff,

 

I am sorry that this happened to you. It is quite recent and it's not uncommon to really feel distraught and lost at this point. My advice is to take care that you have counselling for a longer time than the weeks on the psych ward. I think it's different for each person who goes through this; but the bottom line is that it's one of the hardest things to ever deal with. It happened to me 3 years ago. I have blocked it out for most of that time, until recently. Now that I have told my partner (he wasn't my partner at the time it happened to me), my parents and my friends, I feel better. But the shame, the pain, feeling filthy, I think the scars will always be there. But there IS light there. You will be able to move on, and put this in the past. You can't erase it, that would be denying it ever happened. But I can assure you that with help of professionals, support of friends and family you can rebuild your life.

 

Did you report to the police?

 

Ilse

[steff]

but the worst thing is, that the police dont know if they can sentence him, because its his word agains mine, and thats about all the evidence they have.

[arwen]

Unfortunately, that happens a lot. I am so sorry girl. I was raped in another country, and didn't speak the language well enough to report it, and in addition I didn't know where to go to or who to turn to. All you can do is focus on yourself, therapy, rely on friends and family and know in your heart that regardless of police files or sentences, he will somehow know or realize that in fact he DID do this to you. Don't let anyone give you the feeling that just because there is no evidence, that it didn't happen and that you are not entitled to have these feelings.

 

Ilse

[steff]

i am trying so hard to express my feelings, instead of cutting them into myself, but its so hard. i against myself each and every day. i hate my mum for taking my razers away from me, but at the same time love her for it.

[arwen]

I am happy your mom took them away, but it's really not solving the fact that you feel like cutting. Would it help to start running everyday, with a friend (I can imagine that you don't feel like running by yourself). Working out is a great way to get rid of feelings that you would otherwise internalize by cutting, or other self-destructive behaviours.

 

Take care,

 

ilse