Advice on ex girlfriend

[InLoveAndWaiting]

My ex and I are talking again, but not every day. This after a period of no contact where she seemed to want nothing to do with me. I still have feelings for her but I don't know how she feels about me. I know she doesn't want to be in a relationship now and believe she still has some feelings for me. I also believe she just misses me. I have been trying to give her her space she has asked for and try to let her initiate the contact. Is there a point that I should ask if she wants to give our relationship another chance? I don't want to push her away again as I believe I did that enough right after the breakup. I know she said her feelings changed for me, that is why we split. She was confused and wanted time for herself. When we first got together, she told me I was the best ever and she never wanted to lose me, that is why I have been having a hard time, I want to understand but I don't. Any thoughts or advice about this is welcome.

[TrynToGetBy]

I'm glad to hear you guys are talking again. I'm not that farmiliar with your situation, do you have a link to your original thread? Also how long was your period of NC and who initiated the contact?

[InLoveAndWaiting]

Here is a link to my original post, quite long, but I feel must be read to understand.

 

 

 

I would contact her about once a week after the break up just to talk, she called me maybe 3 times since June up until last week. You will understand more if you read the original post. She had begun initiating the contact again. She will call some days and others she won't. I am just confused about her calling again after seeming to want nothing to do with me for awhile.

[need2bme]

So you are talking again. If she wants to be with you again, you will know. There are the signs. We always see them, we just don't do what we should. Why not just hang out and see where it goes?

 

If you call her and she is always busy, then you know. If she works to make herself available, then you also know.

 

Just enjoy her in the way you can now, 'cause you are aware of both of your red flags.

[terk2021]

I would enjoy the conversations and time together, but I would be careful. If she knows what you want is to be back together, and she is not ready, than it may not be fair to you. The key is that you can accept it for what it is, if in fact she does not want what you want.

 

The best advice I can give, which I wish I would have followed from my friends a long time ago: move forward in life, and accept the time that you talk to her and spend with her, but don't put your life on hold hoping she will come back the way you want her...

[Nick_t]

I have to say I agree totally with terk. Although I have found out that this is very hard sometimes, its always good to read something like that from someone else to make it sink in.

 

My ex and I after nearly 4 months of being apart are getting on like a house on fire, better than before. However that is all that is going to happen as she wants to be single right now, and not involved with someone she knows she could marry one day.

 

She has admitted she never wants to lose me and when we are together we always have a laugh together. I have accepted that we cannot be together, the thing which does get me down is I miss having someone to hug, cuddle up with and share my deepest thoughts with. I miss having a girlfriend, I don't really want to be single. I know that sounds stupid or sad but i've enjoyed single life before, now I feel I could settle.

 

I see her practically everyday as she is a student at the University I work at. I still speak to her, text her, go and cook dinner for her and her housemate. We are getting on so well. She sees me and gets my attention, she asks my advice and comes to me when she is sad. I do the same thing. We have both admitted we see each other as the only people at University who we can talk to apart from her house mate too.

 

She says she misses my friends and she has admitted in a online convo she does still care a lot for me and would love a relationship with me, but not now. She has met me too early in her life.

 

At the end of the day I need to see all of this as not signs that she wants to get back together but as a sign that we haven't wasted what was a brilliant relationship and friendship. I need to accept her decision but like terk said not put my life on hold for her, which hands up I have done recently! I need to move on but value all the time we spend together.

 

Does this make any sense or help?

[Biffy]

 

 

Read it and learn from it people.

[papalazarou]

You know what there are about 3 or 4 MAJOR and SUPERDAVE posts that should really be STICKYS at the top of this message board.

[Biffy]

I couldn't agree more, those 2 should club together and write a book.

[InLoveAndWaiting]

It has now been 2 days since I heard anything from my ex, I don't want to call because I want it to be initiated by her and on her terms. We saw each other for the first time in awhile on the weekend of Nov. 3, after that she was calling me like everyday, just to say hey and hope I have a good day. Now, the calling has gotten less, I'm not panicing, just wondering why. I sent her a text last night just to say goodnight and sweet dreams, hope you had a good day, nothing else. Haven't heard anything back since. Just wondering if I'm doing the right thing by not calling. I'm happy we have been talking again but don't want to push things. Any advice?

[need2bme]

You are doing the right thing by not calling. If you call, what good will it do? It is only going to hurt you.

 

Trust me, you are rolling along like old times and then she slides something in that hurts. Sometimes we do it subconciosly. Don't call.

[InLoveAndWaiting]

My ex called me yesterday around 2 pm, I did not pick up the phone and let her leave a message so it didn't look like I was waiting for her call and so available. I did call her back after about 45 minutes. We were both in town last night and she said she was at the mall looking for something to wear for a work party she has to go to tomorrow. She was getting stressed cause she couldn't find anything and I asked if she needed some help, she gladly said yes. We had a great time together for about an hour and a half and we are making each other laugh again.

 

She did find some pants and I told her they looked great on her, they really did. She thanked me for coming with her and told me to call her later. We talked last night around 9 and then said good night to each other. She told me to call her today at work, and she sent me a text around 2 just to see how my day was going.

 

She seems so happy to be talking to me again. I am getting the response I want by not calling, the less I call the more I hear from her, strange. Anyway, things are going good between us right now, I just stress too much sometimes because I really miss her and the kids. I will keep all of you posted.

[Clarkmeister]

Have a look at my situation mate, see if you could take anything from my experience.

 

Second Chance ?

 

 

Original Posts (by the way, I found out she had cheated on me, dont think its mentioned in the original posts.