What is this bastard trying to do?!?!?! Im truly upset now...

[Baby Carrot]

OK to make a long story short, I met a guy online 5 years ago. He was possesive, jealous, insecure and I broke up with him only 6 months ago.

 

He went nuts when this happened. Went thru stages. Suicidal, then friendly, then he menaced me, then he dissappeared, then he appeared again and called me drunk in the middle of the night, then put up a scam about a fake enterprise that wanted to hire me, then appeared at my house saying he had to talk to me and kept knocking for 90 minuts, then missing calls in my caller ID from his local and cell, and recently he is signing up those myspace kind of sites WITH MY NAME and pretending it was me, also inventing fake e-mails as someone from other country trying to be like friends with me... and also he keeps using my old mail he hacked 8 months ago, I mean I know it's him, I can't prove it but come on.

 

What is he trying to do?!?!?!?!

 

No seriously, who's THAT messed up?

 

Oh my, if for some reason he discovered I'm posting here basically all my life, he'd be so thrilled of finding out what's going on with me in so much detail.

 

He's like a sick monster, hungry for information, like the freaking Eye of Mordor... they say information is power isn't it?

 

I guess he's losing it because I let him control me for years and now that I take that away from him, he's desperately trying to gain control back over me. By finding out what am I up to, if I'm home or not, where I work, who do I hang out with, and what am I doing on the internet (it was always a touchy subject between us, since that's the way we met and I was a cyber junkie back the, and he always suspected I was secretly fooling around online).

 

Gosh how do you get rid of this kind of creep? Any ideas? ](*,)

[luvursmile]

Sounds like a real psycho! Yikes, thats scary. Maybe you could change your number, and move if possible. I would say, call the police, just to inform them. They wont do anything about it because a) theres no proof, b) hes never actually physically hurt you and c)hes technically done nothing against the law, at least that can be proven. But do it, just so they have a record of it, in case something happens, which I hope will not.

If its an option for you to move, I'd say MOVE!

[sparkle1]

I know a hit man?

 

joking aside - this is serious. This is harassment. I think you should keep a log of everything he is doing...incase you need it for the police.

 

if your psycho ex is reading this- BACK OFF. LEAVE HER ALONE. OTHERWISE YOU'LL END UP IN SERIOUS TROUBLE.

 

do you think he thinks he is endearing himself to you?!??

 

weirdo...you're well rid.

X

[amtjrtcet]

Sounds like a real psycho! Yikes, thats scary. Maybe you could change your number, and move if possible. I would say, call the police, just to inform them. They wont do anything about it because a) theres no proof, b) hes never actually physically hurt you and c)hes technically done nothing against the law, at least that can be proven. But do it, just so they have a record of it, in case something happens, which I hope will not.

If its an option for you to move, I'd say MOVE!

 

Yes, report it. Like luvursmile said, they won't do anything, but it will be on record.

He's does sound psycho! Change ur # and keep your guard up. People like this, you never know what they're capable of.

[rose2summer]

This guy has some sort of serious psychological problem.

 

What part of no does he not understand?

 

I think you should follow the great advice on here and make a police report.

 

Have you actually told him to leave you alone, that might be a good first step.

 

Tell him he needs to stop or you will seek outside help.

 

Hugs, Rose

[RayKay]

Very scary Baby Carrot, yes indeed he is NOT balanced, be careful about just writing it off as "nutso behaviour" though, as people can do some very stupid dangerous things when they behave this way.

 

I would certainly report any harassment so it is on record, and be very cautious.

 

I am also glad you never DID meet this guy in the end, there is definitely something not right here. Grief is one thing - harassment, deceit and making your life miserable is NOT a normal reaction.

[Baby Carrot]

I know! I know!

 

Apparetnly I had no idea what he's capable of! And I still don't, I really thought it was over but it goes on and on.

 

Im in Latin America, already called the police, but basically they cannot protect me. I can make a complete album on all his scams but that's all, it doesn't really help at all.

 

He thinks he's so machiavelic but he's nothing but a coward hiding behind phones and web pages and e mails.

 

Geez... thanks girls.

[Baby Carrot]

I am also glad you never DID meet this guy in the end, there is definitely something not right here.

 

RAYKAY

 

This wasn't a cyber boyfriend, it was the real deal, we met online and became bf gf in no time, lasted nearly 5 years. That's the most messed up thing.

 

Apparently I cant possibly judge people.

 

Im so upset, noone can help, authorities dont give a rats bleep and I can't prove anything of what he's doing.

 

GRRRRRR

[southerngirl]

Can you move so that he doesnt have your address? Can you change your phone number?

 

he is stalking you. It can get worse.

[sparkle1]

RAYKAY

 

This wasn't a cyber boyfriend, it was the real deal, we met online and became bf gf in no time, lasted nearly 5 years. That's the most messed up thing.

 

Apparently I cant possibly judge people.

 

Im so upset, noone can help, authorities dont give a rats bleep and I can't prove anything of what he's doing.

 

GRRRRRR

 

Are you in the UK or US?

[Baby Carrot]

No, SOUTHERNGIRL, I can't move for now, I was only able to change my cellphone number, but not the local one (the phone company has no new numbers availabe now DANG!!!!)

 

So basically I can't:

 

Move

Change my numbers

Ask for help to the police

 

 

I mean, if what he wanted is to corner me, is done. Now what? Goddamnit.

 

I just know the more I hide, the harder he'll try and find me. Is just sick. People break up everyday, get over it loser.

[Siriana]

Well I suggest changing all of your numbers (phone, mobile) and changing your adress - if it is possible. If you are not living in your own appartment you can easily move. I believe he will go crazy if you only change your phone number - I bet he will be knocking on your door after several days.

Be carefull and avoid the possiblity of him finding out your new data from your friends!

 

I don't know hat else to say. Looks like police can't do anything.

The only moment where you had a chance to call the police was when he was knocking on your door for like 90 minutes. If that happens again call the police while he's infront of your doors.

 

 

ups, now i 've seen how you can't change your phone number -how about caller ID?

and changing locks on your door.

Do you live in an appartment building?

[Baby Carrot]

Im in Latin America SPARKLE.

[sparkle1]

Bums. Over here we take this sh!te really seriously.

 

I don't know what else to suggest you do. unless you wait for him to get bored and leave you alone - what else can you do?

 

I can see why you are soooo annoyed, and angry. i would be too

 

Sparkle x

[Baby Carrot]

The only moment where you had a chance to call the police was when he was knocking on your door for like 90 minutes. If that happens again call the police while he's infront of your doors.

 

SYRIX.

Oh but I totally did.

 

The police basically told me it was my ex not theirs, and that they weren't gonna do anything.

 

Im so stucked.

[Baby Carrot]

SPARKLE:

I know, this shhh is taken seriously in other countries not here. He is using that to his advantage. Effing a!hole.

[southerngirl]

Its time to protect yourself then. Get some mace. Can you start carrying that with you at all times? If he comes at you, you can spray him in the eyes... Pepper spray really does work. What about a big dog? Who do you live with? Do you live alone, family , friends, what? Does your family know?

 

Make the people close to you in your life aware of what is going on so that you can enlist their help with this.

 

My first husband, I was with him close to five years. He hit me and I left, we had been married less than a year. It was 2 and a half months after the breakup that things got far worse.

 

he held me against my will for 4 and a half hours. He beat me up very bad. I was afraid for my life.

 

You have got to find a way to get out of where you are. So that you are not able to be found. I did it. You can too.

 

Good Luck!!!

[Siriana]

Looks like Latin America is worse that East Europe when it comes to that!

 

Now some rude advice from my east european mindset - is he a coward - afraid of other guys, afraid of fighting other guys? if yes, I have an idea. Guys who treat woman like that are usually cowards when it comes to conflict with other guys.

[rose2summer]

I can understand what you say when you mention in Latin America, it's difficult to get police help.

 

That's why I think you should have a tough male friend or family member call him and tell him what's up.

 

A little machisimo male mentality against another may do him some good.

 

It's really not fair what you are going through.

[Baby Carrot]

SOUTHERNGIRL:

Im so sorry that happened to you! Is just terrible. Pepper spray sounds really good. Considering he basically can't seem to back off. Is scary who knows what will he do next? Is obvious I don't know him at all.

 

I live only with my mom, she knows we broke up and was there when he was knocking at the door for 90+ minuts , but she doesn't know about the rest of the harassing or the fact that he stole money from me and still owes me1 grand.

 

Im not close to my family so basically I stand alone in this.

 

Im gonna have to be extra careful and take precautions.

 

Thanks a lot. Good luck to you too.

[Siriana]

I suggest you ask a big friend of yours to visit him in case this harrasment becomes even worse.

one of the girls I knew had a similar situation and her good friend (pretty big guy) sorted things out.

[Baby Carrot]

SYRIX:

He used to be pretty cocky and not affraid of fighting other guys when necessary. As he is a coward, he might even carry arms to defend himself and be like the ultimate winner, he thinks he's so smart.

 

So I guess that if I was seeing another guy and they ended up fighting, I'm affraid the guy deffending me would be in a lot of danger. I wouldnt' like to carry that kind of guilt.

 

I can't believe how far can everything go just thanks to a stubborn psycho.

 

Thanks for your words girl.

 

 

ROSE2SUMMER:

I hear what you say about chauvinism. As I'm a little damsel in distress with no tough guys around to deffend me, he thinks he can get away with it. Keep picking on me and driving me nuts, so I can get even more paranoid and weak. Is a win win situation for him. If Im scared he wins, if I give up and call him he wins... is un freaking believable.

 

But Im better then that. Im gonna figure it out somehow, he's not gonna turn my life into a paranoid scam and trap me in his little games.

 

Thanks Rose.

[bikjj]

mmmmm. His behviour is 'control' and with such situations, there is manipulation to get want you want. Most people who like control, cannot deal with chaos or something going against the grain so to speak. I agree with the above, recognise what it is - 'control'. Log everything down, and eventually you may need to report it. Once its reported, you can start applying for a restraining order so he cant get near you.

 

As with most control situations, you cant always know for sure how far the person will go to try and get you back within his control'.

 

Keep strong!

[Baby Carrot]

bikjj:

Is scary indeed trying to figure out how far this loser will to try and get me back in his sick mind (like that's gonna happen).

 

Im not sure either if he's this little pathetic creep hiding behind fake phone numbers and email accounts or is a creep with the potential to mess with me to a harmful degree. Who can tell how crazier he can get?

 

But one thing is for sure, I'm much better then him. He's not gona break me like he did for all those years. I evolved, he didn't.

[itsallgrand]

Why can't you move? And cancel your landline telephone, go only by cell?

 

Have you told him "NO. Stop this." without intiating/speaking to him again?

 

Does he know where you live, then?

 

Carry some pepper spray for sure. Do not go out alone, always be with somebody. Document everything.

 

Disappear. Dissolve all contacts he has access to (phone, email, any joint friends/acquaintainces).

 

Not a joke. Do what you must - even if it means being in a less than ideal situation, and having to live a little differently for a while.