Can't get there...

[miss_confused99]

I was looking for advice and found this forum. Maybe someone can help me with my problem...which is kind of embarrassing.

 

I've been in a relationship with a woman for a little over a year. It started online and then we met in person in April of this year. After travelling back and forth for a while, I moved in with her a month ago. We have a great relationship but there's one problem. I hardly ever have an orgasm when we have sex. I make sure she always does...usually more than once. But no matter what she does, it doesn't happen for me and I end up faking it so she won't feel bad. I don't think she's doing anything wrong and we're completely in love and have a solid caring relationship so it has to be something wrong with me.

 

Any advice???

[sparkle1]

00b: welcome to enotalone!

 

You don't say if you were able to reach orgasm in other relationships? or is it just this one you can't?

 

Sparklexx

[texami]

...or if you can orgasm by masterbating?? is this just a "with her" problem?

[Batya33]

If you consider that you did not meet in person until April, how long did you date before moving in together? How much of that dating was long distance? My guess is you have only dated consistently in person for a few months tops before moving in together - my guess is that your body is telling you that it's all happening a bit too fast and is reacting. Obviously there could be other reasons but I bet the insta-relationship factor doesn't help. I wouldn't count the online typing/talking as whether that was you two getting to know each other for purposes of a romantic relationship (and I don't just mean s_x).

[miss_confused99]

welcome to enotalone!

 

You don't say if you were able to reach orgasm in other relationships? or is it just this one you can't?

 

Sparklexx

 

...or if you can orgasm by masterbating?? is this just a "with her" problem?

 

 

I've never had this problem with anyone else...even one night stands. And I have no problem if I masturbate.

[miss_confused99]

If you consider that you did not meet in person until April, how long did you date before moving in together? How much of that dating was long distance? My guess is you have only dated consistently in person for a few months tops before moving in together - my guess is that your body is telling you that it's all happening a bit too fast and is reacting. Obviously there could be other reasons but I bet the insta-relationship factor doesn't help. I wouldn't count the online typing/talking as whether that was you two getting to know each other for purposes of a romantic relationship (and I don't just mean s_x).

 

I didn't consider that as a possibility because I feel like we know each other very well, but you do have a point. Our "real world" relationship had only been 6 months of long distance dating before we moved in together. So I guess we'll give it more time and see what happens. And I guess talking to her about it wouldn't hurt either huh?

[TiredMan]

Do you really like her? You might be so into her that you are getting yourself too nervous when with her or worrying if she is as into you/making her feel good/other stuff people worry about.

 

That would be my guess since u say it has never happened before and u masterbate fine too.

 

I wouldn't mention it because she might take it wrong. One suggestion is that when you are down on her, try manually getting yourself closer so you can relax.

 

Or grab her hand and show her what you like without saying anything. It might be enough of a turn on to work.

 

Good luck.

[miss_confused99]

Do you really like her? You might be so into her that you are getting yourself too nervous when with her or worrying if she is as into you/making her feel good/other stuff people worry about.

 

That would be my guess since u say it has never happened before and u masterbate fine too.

 

I wouldn't mention it because she might take it wrong. One suggestion is that when you are down on her, try manually getting yourself closer so you can relax.

 

Or grab her hand and show her what you like without saying anything. It might be enough of a turn on to work.

 

Good luck.

 

Also a possibility. I am very insecure at times. I love her to pieces and I get scared that she doesn't love me as much. Thanks for the advice. I'll give it a shot.