caro33 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Please don't contact. You don't need to. Irrational people are irrational people, or at least her rationality is so far removed from yours that you can't just 'break though' with one well-worded email. If she was going to see reason as you see it wouldn't the many other explanations have sunk in just a tad? By reacting to this you are fuelling it. People with traits like K do not just say 'oh yeah, she's right, how could I have missed that, jeez I'm sorry'. Not if they felt outraged enough to ignore everything to this point and even send nasty letters/emails. Yes it's unfair that you can have your name and good intentions maligned but these things happen to the best of people. It is not a reflection on you, like I said above I bet everyone knows she's a bit mad. Also, just in case she is a crazy legal case type keep her emails and do not correspond. Correspondence can be twisted 1000 ways. Link to comment
photographer5 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 Yeah, I'm not going to correspond with her. My husband has written C another email though. But I think it's best that I just keep quiet. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Writing the letter directly to her was probably good therapy and I bet it felt good when you thought you might actually send it, but I agree - you owe her nothing. You have NOTHING to feel bad for or explain. It is SHE with the issues, not you. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Just my two cents worth ... but maybe your husband should stop corresponding with C as well? I know you said they're really close friends (and I know it's not good to get too paranoid about these things) BUT wouldn't what your husband said get back to her?? I don't know if you care if she knows or not, though ... Link to comment
Siriana Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 That was my point - if my bf's firend's wife acted toward me that way I would expect my husband to support me - and that includes not talking to them anymore. Nothing less would satisfy me! It is obvious that her husband is suppoting her in this nonsense! Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Oh I didn't mean your husband should stop talking to his friend altogether but just about this particular matter since it's only adding fuel to the fire? Link to comment
Siriana Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 o.k. I would expect him to stand by my side and to make this contact diminish. But that's just me. Or at least seeing him alone. There is a difference if your gf don't get along, but if you're married - well... Sorry ellie 2006 I got your post wrong. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 o.k. I would expect him to stand by my side and to make this contact diminish. But that's just me. Or at least seeing him rarely alone. There is a difference if your gf don't get along, but if you're married - well... Sorry ellie 2006 I got your post wrong. Oh no, Syrix! I agree with what you said! I was just wondering, though, if the OP's husband is really good friends w/ that woman's husband and get along with him well, in general, maybe they can retain the friendship in spite of this incident?? The wife seems to be making it impossible, though ... Link to comment
TheSmokeMonsterCometh Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 You know, I read your whole story, and I'm very sorry to hear that she flipped on you. You handled it exceedingly well. But I'm afraid that I can relate to K. I'm a senior in highschool, so I'm quite a bit younger than her, but I've flipped on acquaintances at my school. One time, the worst of the times I think I flipped on this girl who I've had a crush on since our freshman year, when I met her. She made a really rude and b****y to me, and I just exploaded, saying F-U. Another time, I through a book at another acquaintance of mine, this time (thank God) a guy. He called me a name and I just looked at him for a couple of seconds and threw it. What I'm getting at is that maby K has the same problem as me? An anger-management issue? Also, these two people who I've flipped on, I really didn't mean to. I felt absolutely awfull and completely immatue and more importantly, I felt scared of myself. Its a horrible feeling when you loose controll of your anger... absolutely terrible. You feel guilty as heck, you feel embarrased, you feel ashamed. And you feel afraid of yourself, because you feel like you can't controll your anger. Maby K lost controll, and maby you were just the unlucky skapegoat she needed to vent her anger on? Maby after last night, she now feels horrible. Just a guess. Link to comment
photographer5 Posted November 12, 2006 Author Share Posted November 12, 2006 Thanks again everyone for the continued support. I told my husband that he is welcome to try and salvage a relationship with his friend, C. (Even though it was not my preference.) But he solidly said that he doesn't want to be friends with someone who is going to be so easily manipulated by his wife into believing that I am this horrible person. As long as C thinks I'm a malicious, uncompassionate person, my husband doesn't want to have anything to do with him. That made me feel good. One more update, C emailed my husband today and said he wants to talk on the phone and try and work things out. He admitted that he may have misinterpreted the events. Perhaps there's hope for him yet? Link to comment
Siriana Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Your husband is a great person. You'll see what happens between your husband and C, it is still early to know. Good luck Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now