I move to fast, how do i get myself to stop?

[fox_91]

I noticed this problem with myself ever since i broke up with my ex. I really want to find someone new to be with and care for, but I always seem to try to move to fast with girls. Like I'm acting like I have to get into a relationship in one weekend instead of playing cool and getting the second/third date. Any advice on how i can stop doing that? I think part of my issue was that I wasn't living in the town and could only go out with someone on a weekend if plans were made well. now i live in the town and the time isn't as much of a issue, but I'm really sick of killing my chances because I can't be cool.

[Relationship Coach]

The important thing is no one here has to tell you to slow down, you know what your problem is! Break the cycle, you know that it is preventing you from having the type of relationship that you really want. Savor your food, don't gobble it up, love is not a sprint, it's a life long marathon.

 

RC

[annie24]

RC has some great points!

 

another point that I have to remind myself.... when you meet a new person, you don't call them your best friend, or even a close friend after one weekend. you would just call them a new friend, or an acquaintance. Maybe after a few months, you would call them a good friend, and after a year, you would call them your best friend. you'd wait for the test of time before you put a label on the relationship.

 

I think it's the same with romantic relationships. just because you hang out with someone once, how do you know you want to give them that title? you wouldn't call someone you hung out with once your close friend, so I think it wouldn't make sense to call someone you went on one date with your girlfriend. it's putting a title on a relationship that isn't there yet. it rings hollow.

 

so.... good luck!

[MissyJ]

I am very similar tho, if i like someone a lot all i want to do is spend all my time with them and i suppose i may come accross a little strong but to be fair i have never actually scared anyone off.