He said he loves me... then regretted it?

[chelly]

Ok...here's the fast story. I met this guy about a month ago and, although it sounds slightly crazy, have fallen for him. I think I knew from the beginning but it took until recently to be able to admit it to myself. I got out of a long, and bad, relationship not too terribly long before I met him. I have never felt like this in my life... it feels like we're connected on such a deep level. In short... I'm crazy about him!

We went out this weekend and had a few drinks and later on, he said "I think I love you" and as a split second reactions I said "what?" and he was like "nothing". I told him I heard him but I didn't tell him I loved him right back because I didn't know if I was ready. I know I'm head over heels for this guy and I wanted to say it but was scared. I did say it a few minutes later. After that, we both sort of pretended nothing happened. Did he get scared? Maybe he realized that he was just under the influence of alcohol and regretted saying it...? I want to ask if he remembers it and meant it... I think he did but I don't want to pressure him about it and force it out of him if he's not ready yet. What should I do?

[laboheme]

If you do ask him if he meant it, you risk making things awkward. If he did mean it, he could feel offended that you didn't take his statement seriously. If it was just the drinks, he could feel pressured, like you said. I think the best thing to do would be to wait until the two of you get together again. If he really did want to say it then, he will say it again...or if by that time you're dying of curiosity, you can tell him how you feel and see if he responds with those words that you want to hear...

[chelly]

tell him how I feel as in "I'm in love with you"?... or something like it without saying those words? Cuz i would think that if I said "I love you" it would freak him out if he wasn't ready/didn't mean it? It's already driving me crazy haha!

[breeze33]

just take it slow.....

 

you've only known him for a month. is this infatuation or is it really love? get to know each other... only time will tell and then by that time you'll know.

 

and yes, I think he may feel cornered if you talk about it. let him make the first move to say it again. good luck

[BillyJean714]

Take it slow..

 

It may have been the alchohol. In my experiences, people tend to be really lovey dovey when they're drunk, because the feel less inhibited. They say whatevers on their mind, just for the heck of it. I guess it's because to them, it feels good to say it 'in the moment.'

 

If you look at the timeline of your relationship, realistically, him saying I love you when you both were drinking and he was a bit tipsy, to me, doesn't mean anything. It's just small talk and a superficial remark.

 

When someone loves you, they love you without having any kind of underlying motive. They love you because they just do. Most times, if they love you THAT much:

 

#1. It takes time to develop those feelings. They don't throw words like that around too wrecklessly.

 

2. It would be harder for them to express it, ESPECIALLY if they are NOT exclusive with that person.

 

Best of luck. Don't analyze it too much. But, just make sure that you're hangning out with someone who truly respects you, and doesn't just see you as a good for now kinda girl.

[Juliana]

I wouldn't bother talking to him about it right now. But I would demonstrate like crazy!

[chelly88]

I know... i thought it over and realized it is too soon. I always tend to overanalyze things lol. but there has been tons of signs that he really does care about me alot. he's a really sweet, shy guy... he doesnt hesitate to tell me that i'm pretty or beautiful or cute. there's lots of subtle stuff that shows me he cares... it's hard to explain. it may well be infatuation... but how do i know when it crosses the line from infatuation to love? if it does? we have both agreed to being exclusive with each other... we both like each other a lot and from what i understoof neither of us wants to see anyone else right now. he respected my wishes in the beginning to slow things down and continue taking it slow... which worked well until recently. we've both kind of found it hard to stay away from the other.

there's no rush right? i should just go with the flow and whatever happens or doesnt happen will be.

[Juliana]

Exactly. Don't look too far ahead, and don't pack your mental bags to move in with him....quite yet.