lesson on getting girls interested

[notalone_user]

So by browsing through this forum it seems to me girls are interested in men who are confident, charming, outgoing and have a sense of humour. What if i dont have any of that??? I dont want to project a fake image of confidence and charm and blah blah blah. And I wouldnt call myself a very nice person either. I just cant force myself to be caring and helpful all the times. So does that mean I got no chance of finding a nice girl ???

[annie24]

you may want to spend some time cultivating your own self-esteem, some hobbies, confidence then before you start looking for women. figure out what you have to offer a woman first.

 

i know it's within you!

[Batya33]

Acting as if often results in the "as if" becoming a natural part of you.

[notalone_user]

you may want to spend some time cultivating your own self-esteem, some hobbies, confidence then before you start looking for women. figure out what you have to offer a woman first.

 

i know it's within you!

 

Cultivating ... ??? I guess thats very easy to say. But why the heck do these things matter ? I mean not everyone can be a superman. And even if i try to pose confidence and what not,,, that wouldnt truly be me right. I dont want any girl to have high expectations because i know i am such a loser and eventually she will find out.

[annie24]

i know i am such a loser and eventually she will find out.

 

well, I think you might want to cultivate a better attitude. how will you find a girl if this is how you feel about yourself???

 

why don't you tell me some good things about yourself?

[notalone_user]

well, I think you might want to cultivate a better attitude. how will you find a girl if this is how you feel about yourself???

 

why don't you tell me some good things about yourself?

 

 

Here are the good things abt myself:

 

1. i have an incredibly boring job... so boring that its stessful and i dont think it will lead me to any career.

 

2. i have no social life. at home, most of my time is spent on the net or watching tv.

 

3. my network is less than 10 ppl.

 

4. i made the wrong choice of program for university and thereforeeee couldnt get a decet job at graduation which led to some serious depression (and i am still recovering from that).

 

5. when i got to social gatherings, usually i am just standing alone.

 

6. i have a feeling that i am getting old very quickly

 

7. unfortunately i cant seem to find a passion which is rewarding

 

8. i have a fear that someday either i will get fired from my job or simply resign from it and than i wouldnt know what to do

 

9. i seem to be riding downhill. the more delay in finding mental stability and happiness the worst.

 

Unfortunately i cant think of anymore good things about myself.

[Dako]

nu

 

You may find doing the right thing, caring, being trustworthy, developing interests and all that other stuff is what life is about, and it'll help you become a happier and better person, not just to fool a girl into playing with you.

It'll also fool lots of other people into overlooking what a loser you are, and if you get really good at it you'll be fooled too.

[shep88ner]

notalone...i can relate to you. often times i am the single man out at social events and i wouldnt classify myself as a nice person either. i have only dated 3 girls in my whole life and dont really have any lady friends. so 100% of my time was around the guys, and you know how that goes. so i had a very "guyish" attitude and thus, given my age, an 18 yearold's "guyish" attitude is pretty foul. but i met my current girlfriend by luck at a small get together. and she brought the nice out of me. i care for her like i never thought i could care for anyone, and i do the nicest things for her. true, i get crap from the guys for being "soft" and all that, but it's just to pick on me. i truly think that if you meet the right girl, either by lucky chance or through some other way, she will bring the good guy out in you. once they realize what kind of person you really are deep down all the other stuff like, haveing a boring job and all that wont really matter to them. my GF now thinks it was cute how when we met, i was the only one not talking to her and her friend at this little get together, because i was too nervous to mess up infront of such a pretty girl like her, and i knew that being around my guy friends, i would most likely be an * * * to her anyway. just hang in there man, some day you will find the right girl and she will bring out the real you, the nice you. and other's will notice your change. good luck!

[qtpie38]

I'm sure you have good qualities that you don't know about. In fact I was just talking to my cousin about how we like guys that don't know they're cute. Now I'm not saying that I neccesarily like guys who think bad about themselves but guys who aren't full of themselves are the best kind. Don't be who you're not just to get a girl. It's like lying and you don't want to start you're whole entire relationship on lying do you? Just be yourself and you'll find someone who finds you interesting or "their type".

[bhzmafia]

I dont want to project a fake image of confidence

Why?

 

If you keep telling yourself you are confident, its only a matter of time until that image is represented in the way you act

[heloladies21]

Well you've taken the first step to learning this skill of how to talk to girls. It's more of an understanding of how girls think and differences between them and us.

 

5. when i got to social gatherings, usually i am just standing alone.

This is the only one on your list that has anything to do with whether you get girls or not. It's really more of a symptom of a bigger problem that you have, you are not a social being. This is something you can change though, but it's gonna take you opening up your mind and be willing to try some new things.

 

I highly recommend the DVD and ebooks from link removed and link removed. They've helped me tons and I'm still learning things day in and day out from the free newsletters.

 

It's up to you, but you can't just keep doing what you've been doing and expect different results. You're going to have to learn (not pretend) to accomplish this.