Me Again

[tara3720]

Hello Everyone,

 

I will make this short, but I feel like contacting my ex. You've all said to come here before I do something stupid.

 

When I get weak, I feel I could've tried harder. maybe he did contact me to apologize or make things right when I blocked him from my email.

 

He'd emailed me about 2 weeks ago asking how I was and if I was ok. I responded with "im ok, thank you." He didnt respond that whole day or next morning, so I blocked him from my email for 2 days so I wouldn't know if he responded or not. Since then, I've heard nothing.

I know that's good, and I know he doesn't deserve anything from me, but I just feel I gave up so easily. I have to realize that if he really wanted to try, regardless if i've contacted him, he would be trying on his end.

As you've all said, regardless of my mistakes or what I did to make him mad, I didn't deserve to be verbally abused or ignored for days because of my "mistakes."

 

I'm getting stronger and stronger, I just feel an urge to contact him and tell him I'm fine, tell him I still think about him, but I know that would be SO WRONG. I won't do it, but I'm just having a hard night tonight. Why do I care so much about him??? I"m almost embarrassed..

 

Thanks again from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has really helped me out. I'm feeling A LOT better.

[L.J.]

Hi there,

I'm with you. I know how easy it is to feel weak. It is smart of you to block him from your email. I wish I can block her phone call. My phone rang couple nights ago and I picked up the phone without realizing it was her. It's bloody painful eversince and it really screwed up my enitre weekend. With every fiber in my body, I maintained NC for a week and now I'm in an emotional tailspin again. I'm tired and I'm sick and tired of being tired.

 

Please be strong and resist the urge to make contact to tell him your are fine ... you won't be if you do. Temptation is like a spoonful of honey ... enough to sweeten the tongue but not enough to fill the whole mouth.

 

Take care