One great date - then nothing!

[ckman]

I had an amazing with this girl who I met by being set up by a mutual friend. Due to time, I got the vibe that she would be all gung-ho about going on a second date. I called her 7 days ago and I haven't heard since. How long is too long to wait? Should I forget about her? Should I call her again to make sure she got my message?

 

SEE SECOND POST BELOW FOR MORE INFO

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone. call again, leave a message if she does not pick up.

[ForAnother]

What date was it you went on the date?

 

If you have already called once, and left a message, and its been 1 week since you heard from her, I'd say she isn't interested.

 

If you haven't called yet and it has been a week, she might be wondering why you aren't calling her.

 

-ForAnother

[annie24]

well, it is always possible she lost his number, accidentaly deleted the message, or there was a goof-up with her phone. may as well call one more time before you write her off.

 

that plus some women like to play "a bit hard to get" in the beginning. they may want a second call before they talk to you. it's a possibility. just one more call. however, I wouldn't recommend calling her 5 times. that's overboard.

[ForAnother]

I've recently made a mistake of calling a girl twice in 1 week. She won't talk to me in class even. Probably she noticed I liked her, but she didn't like me so she got "scared".

 

Funny how that stuff goes.

 

-ForAnother

[kryptik0]

A few weeks ago, I went out with this beautiful Italian American girl three nights in a row, we had the best time, we were so much into each other. I was happy. We made love on the second night (biggest mistake!!!!!!, couldn't stress enough on mentioning that it was a big mistake). Then third night, she says she has been feeling distant because she is confused. I am not her religion. She said that God will not want her to be with someone who is not from her religion, even though I was everything that she ever wanted. So I said, okay go home, do some soul searching and figure out for yourself what you really want. Two days later, I get an email telling me she had made up her mind not to continue with me. Took me less than a week to get over her, but it was painful during that week.

 

bottomline: Never allow yourself to get emotionally attached to people who you dont know well. Definitely dont have sex until you have known them for a while. Sex/Lovemaking quickens the speed with which attachments are formed and you ultimately end up broken hearted.

[annie24]

I've recently made a mistake of calling a girl twice in 1 week. She won't talk to me in class even. Probably she noticed I liked her, but she didn't like me so she got "scared".

 

Funny how that stuff goes.

 

-ForAnother

 

i don't think that's a mistake. more likely, she just wasn't into you. if I am interesting in a guy, calling 2x in one week with CERTAINLY not turn me off! if anything, that would pique my interest. if he started calling 10 times a week, that would be weird.

[ckman]

First of all - thanks to all the people that responded - 6 replies in 30 minutes - amazing support!

 

In my previous post I wrote "I had an amazing" - I should have wrote "I had an amazing date." The story is, we had a date a week and a half ago - I called four days after (thought that was an appropriate amount of time) and left a message wondering if she would be interested in going for coffee again. Week has passed - no response. I really like this girl as we really clicked. She was laughing a lot and there was all implied agreement that we would go for coffee again. Should I call back and leave another message just to be sure? Or, should I forget about her? How long until I should write someone off as not interested? Do I sound too weird if I call a second time?

 

-Arg - I'm usually never so attracted to someone so quickly.

[Lovely8466]

I think you should give her a call again. Give her the benefit of the doubt, like the above post, something could have been wrong with her phone and the message was deleted or something in that area. If you don't hear from her again after calling her for the second time, then in that case I would move on to someone who appreicates your time!

[annie24]

ok... so me personally, I get ticked if I have to wait 4 days for a call. A lot of men that I have been out with will call me right after the date, or the next day to follow up and say, "thanks, I had a good time." that is the experience of many of my girlfriends also.

 

I think the whole "waiting 4 days to call" smacks of game playing and it most certainly makes me lose interest. unless I knew he was out of town for work for 4 days, I would most definitely be annoyed by waiting. either that, or it's a sign he's not so interested.

 

call her again.

[Lansing]

I don't think 4 days is all that long! Like... lets say you go out on a wednesday. Thursday night you maybe have plans, and friday night too and than Saturday you are busy during the day so you call on Sunday when you figure you will both be free.

 

I for one wouldn't be calling a girl on a Saturday night even if I was sitting at home doing nothing...

 

But, yeah, if a guy is just doing it to "pretend" he is busy.. well, that isn't a good idea!

 

I say you try to call again... how about asking her out for something else besides coffee?? I think you might be setting yourself up for disappointment if the "Second" coffee isn't as fun as the first. So, do something different so you aren't comparing the two "Dates" as much...

[jordan1234]

I usually send and emial or a text the next day saying I had a good time and I will call to do it aagain sometime. That way you are showing interest, but are not getting into another long conversation after just haging out the night before. FWIW. I think you HAVE to call her again. Dont be shy, if you are you will never know.