I'm new and need advice!

[DaisyGirl186]

I am 21 years old, and am with someone who is 44. We are very happy together, and I want to be with him, but I am not sure how to deal with telling my parents. I have a fairly good relationship with my parents, but this might be a little out there for them. Any suggestions? Thanks!

[sabena]

Hello and welcome to eNotalone.com, hope some of us can help a little.

 

Age gap relationships have always and will always be a problem and I think that whenever you tell your parents they will be shocked and you need to brace yourself for that, whether they chose to tell you or show you.

 

You seem a very considerate person by thinking of your parents and the only thing that I could advise it to perhaps take your parents out for one evening, either for a walk or something to eat, but somewhere where the territory is neutral. Sit them down and explain that you have met someone, tell them why you like him and how he makes you feel, say it calmly and rationally. Then at the end say that you want to be honest with your parents because you respect and love them, but that this guy is a little older and that you are worried about their reactions.

 

See what they say before you tell them his age but expect a little look of shock upon their faces, hopefully not, but it might happen! Don't be angry with any of their reactions, because they are your parents and to them you are their little girl no matter how old you are now!

 

If they are happy for you, great! If they appear a little less happy then, ask them why they feel that way, but do this calmly...If you become frustrated and angry this will only fuel any worries they have.

 

I personally know a lot of people in different age relationships and it works wonders for they, because they initially met the people on face value and then realised the age gap.

 

Hope this helps..

[DaisyGirl186]

Sabena~

Thank you so much for your input. What you suggested seems to be a good way to go about things. I think that I need more time before I tell my parents....there really is no hurry, but I dont like keeping this from them. But anyways, thank you again for your advice! It is much appreciated!

~Daisy~

[Arzs]

That was an excellent question you posed there.

 

I want to say first off that I can understand where you are coming from. I am currently in a relationship with a 13 year age gap. I want it to be know and want her parents to know. But like you she is afraid of how they will react. I understand her concerns an willing to let her deal with them in her own way and shall wait for the right time to come out with the news.

 

Being a male, an old fashioned one at that I feel that the parents have a right to know. I so want to be able to sit down with my significant others father and tell him I ma interested in his daughter and ask his permission to see her. I feel that if everyone in the relationship is being adults and have the adult mentality then all will see that love is not prejudiced toward age or race and in some cases sexual gender.

 

While I do not support gay relationships I will not criticize them.

 

But I feel that if you parents are willing to see you as an adult and trust your desicions then I believe that everything will be fine. Beside you can not help who you fall in love with.

 

I hope this has helped you in some way. SHould you want to discuss this further please feel free to PM me.