ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Hey! Please post your thoughts, I only have a few hrs. to figure this out. THANK YOU! I really liked this one guy for 7 years, and we dated for 2 of those 7 (2 blocks of 1 year). Most recently at the end of July. He ended our relationship at that time, and I have not heard from him ever since. I tried to contact him at first, but now I don't see the point. This time, I know that it's all over and I am feeling like I'm pretty well recovering. I know that I will love again. So...here's the problem. There is a guy I like, who is great on so many levels. I've known him for like 8 years, and we have always been friends. I love the hours we spend together, just so comfortable etc...He is coming over to see me soon, and I don't know what to do. Should I tell him that I am not a 100% read to be with him yet? I feel like it's only fair to be all healed up from the past relationship. I am almost there, but I want him to know that I want to take things slowly, even thought deep inside, I really like him. God, I hate this! I want to love and be loved, but a part of me is scared, scared that i'm not ready. What should I do so that I don't scare him away???????????? Link to comment
bighair Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 Hi, First of all, you must relax! Come on...a new love interest is coming over to spend time with you. It's exciting and it is going to be fun. Take a deep breath. If things start happening this evening, then tell him you're not ready, that you want to take things slowly and that you like him, and don't want to jeopordize potential. But, most importantly, relax and have some fun. Good luck. Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 Thank you! I will do just that. I am excited for tonight and your post made that much more confident. Anyone else have input? Link to comment
vesper Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 you say that your new guy you have known for eight years? How well do you know him? Can you just KEEP things light and fun for tonight or do you have to get into relationship talk?! Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 I've known him for a long time, but he wasn't a very close friend. I can keep things light, but I know that if there is a huge physical attraction, I would like to take things slower at the beginning. So, in a way I would like to get into relationship talk, just to make sure he's ok with that. Link to comment
vesper Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 well do you think that this new guy could possibly be a rebound? are you saying that you are afraid of jumping into bed with him too fast before really getting to know him better?!? what exactly is on your mind about this guy what do you want to tell him? you can pretend he is listening and practice what you will say with me if you like... Link to comment
MacGyverRI Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 In this situation, as a guy, I would like to hear "I'm not totally over ?insert?name? and I do like you a lot so can we please take it slow?" then kiss him to let him know for sure you aren't just saying it for any rebound type agenda that guys always fear. Link to comment
Desperatelover76 Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 In this situation, as a guy, I would like to hear "I'm not totally over ?insert?name? and I do like you a lot so can we please take it slow?" then kiss him to let him know for sure you aren't just saying it for any rebound type agenda that guys always fear. Do what that guy said, he's smart lol and i'm goin through kindda the same thing except i was dumped last weekend and i'm still greiving a bit still but i'm getting over it fast Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 well do you think that this new guy could possibly be a rebound? are you saying that you are afraid of jumping into bed with him too fast before really getting to know him better?!? what exactly is on your mind about this guy what do you want to tell him? you can pretend he is listening and practice what you will say with me if you like... Hey! Thank you for the advice! I am not afraid that he might be a rebound, but that I will get emotionally attached too quickly and then be scared of my own feelings towards him. I am still a virgin, so I wasn't thinking of jumping into bed with him, just other kinds of physical intimacy. Basically, it's hard to realize that after so many years of knowing and liking 1 person, there is this great unknown. I was scared of stepping into it. As for what I wanted to tell him, just how I care about him and that taking things slowly isn't gonna last forever, and that I just need a little time before I can be in a relationship again, but that I still want us to see each other. Thanks for the offer for me to practice...but I read this this morning, after he left. Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 In this situation, as a guy, I would like to hear "I'm not totally over ?insert?name? and I do like you a lot so can we please take it slow?" then kiss him to let him know for sure you aren't just saying it for any rebound type agenda that guys always fear. Thank you for the point of view of a man! I'm happy to say that I said something of that extent, and it turned out well. It took a long talk, some emotional drama, but he understood and is looking forward to our future! I made it clear that he's not a rebound, and he seemed very relieved. Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 Do what that guy said, he's smart lol and i'm goin through kindda the same thing except i was dumped last weekend and i'm still greiving a bit still but i'm getting over it fast Good luck with your situation! I'm sorry to hear about the dump, but it seems like you are on the right track. Keep on thinking positive and I have faith that things will turn out just fine. After a great night spent with this new guy, I can tell you that the world is full of great surprises! Link to comment
ashleyyy Posted October 30, 2006 Author Share Posted October 30, 2006 SO, the new guy came over last night and it was perfect! We talked, ate, watched a movie, cuddled and it just felt so right! We talked about me wanting to take things slow, and he was very understanding at the end. It did take effort, and it was emotionally tough, but in the end, things are fine. Thank you all for the advice!!! Link to comment
Desperatelover76 Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 well at least your relationship went good, she said no to me WAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAAAA LoL Link to comment
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