Why is it bad to break up via email?

[Derailed]

have some respect for someone you once loved!

 

Agreed. There is just too little of that these days. People like to play with emotions too much.

[PittItaliano]

Let me go against the flow with my advice...

 

I think it depends as to how long the relationship was as to what is and isn't an acceptable way to break up with someone.

 

If you have only been in the relationship for a short period of time I think a phone call, IM, or e-mail is acceptable. If it's a more serious relationship I think you need to talk in person.

 

Although you said he never listened to you and you couldn't have a conversation about it without him getting defensive. I also had the misfortune of being with a guy who won't listen to reason. It was a somewhat abusive relationship in which I was treated with no respect. (I have to add that the relationship did not start that way.) When I tried to tell the guy that I was upset, he told me to stop talking or starting yelling and getting defensive.

 

If he didn't listen to you, you had a very good reason to break up with him via e-mail. Don't listen to other people that are tearing you apart and saying it's cowardly and selfish or whatever else. You obviously had your reasons for doing this and it was obviously a relationship that needed to end.

[lost1607307474]

I think breaking up via e-mail is bad because it's a one-way communication form. The person being dumped can't ask questions, or retaliate. There is no discussion happening, and discussion is vital in all aspects of relationships, including breaking up. It's also hard to identify emotions, tones and contexts in an e-mail... it is simply black and white text on a screen.

[betrayedgirl]

quote by PittItaliano

 

If you have only been in the relationship for a short period of time I think a phone call, IM, or e-mail is acceptable. If it's a more serious relationship I think you need to talk in person.

 

______________

 

I totally DISAGREE with that one!! It should always be in person if you are local, regardless of how long you been together. If you break up via email or phone, it shows total lack of disrespect on the dumper.

 

Sorry, but it is my opinion and it hurts no matter how long you have been in a relationship .. from 2 weeks to 3 months or 6 months or whatnot.

 

I was dumped via email after 2 weeks and I was so mad and hurt because he showed no class. He also kept telling me how much he loved me on a daily basis.

 

It is the problem with technology nowadays. It enables people to be even more rude, show disrespect because it is the easy way out.

[betrayedgirl]

I am sorry to be very unsupportive of the original poster. This post just brought back memories and anger on my side when I was dumped via email.

[mytimewillcome]

hi, i was dumped by email yesterday and yea, i felt the same way-that it was cowardly and it hurt to think after 4 yrs our relationship didnt even warrant a personal dicussing.. i would probably start crying and be very hurt but at least it would be in person and i could ask questions to help understand better...

[rmpavlock]

I didn't dump my last boyfriend through email because I was afraid of him not getting it...or getting it and then not hearing from and wondering if he had gotten it(if that made any sense). Email isn't always reliable. However, I did try to break up with him in person before that and he cried and begged me to take him back. I ended up taking him back only because I felt sorry for him. When I broke up with him for good it was over the phone. Of course, he has a lot of anger issues. Maybe if he didn't have that problem I would have done it differently, but I have no regrets.

[mynatahsa]

Oh but it's ok to flame me? ?????

[Jordan5571]

mynatahsa, Like I saidf before, this is a loosing battle here on this site.

 

You do not need to defend yourself. But you do need to understand that your comments on this thread are being viewed by (mostly) the hurt or at once hurt. They are not your friends so they do not know you or him well enough to understand. BUT, this is a website, people help people who they don't know, and honestly, there is prejudging, it is usally given to person who is preceived as right or wrong. In this case, it doesn't matter who was right or wrong, this is turning into something that has nothing to do with support.

[blender]

I have to say, AFTER reading the new info in this thread, that your ex was a drug addict, well, then if breaking up via email was BETTER FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, then that is the exception here, and you did the right thing. Be proud of yourself for letting go of someone who has a "meth problem"... you broke up with the "drug" and not him, and for right now, the two are one in the same... so you did the right thing, for your own safety. Next time remember to give this info of his "drug issue" in your original post, perhaps it would have provoked more understanding on this site of broken hearts... best, Blender

[whoops]

the best way to look at things is how would you feel if after being intimate with someone and sharing part of you all you could was write them an email to finish it.

 

Okay some people before emails would write a letter and it would be perceived as beautiful but emails are not looked at in the same way -

 

I agree we cant discuss this in a good manner as we are here for support but i wouldnt break up with someone on the phone but face to face - it hurts but is the decent thing to do -

 

Be treated as you wish to be!

[HangingInThere]

i totally agree! maybe the ppl that are calling you rude was once placed in that predicament!

 

I have done a break up via email before - we were arguing a lot, he never let me finish what i have to say, he starts yelling, he always wrong and strong at the same time...it was hard getting through to him....could never get a word in edgewise

 

The relationship was a very short one - 3 months! However i was very nice and pleasant, i didn't even blame him for anything...my email wasnt about blame - who was right or wrong...

 

perhaps if it was longer, i might have done it in person...but that is a BIG 'IF'....if the person is hard to talk to and you have exhausted all other avenues, then go with emai/letter...no matter how long or short.

 

whats the difference, sometimes ppl have problems in the relationship and some of you say, oh go ahead write a letter or send an email, because s/he will sit and read it thoroughly and whatnot....

 

to the person that created thiis post, only you knew what you had to deal with and if that was the best way out for you, then KUDOS!