I am going to contact my ex, what do I say?

[kantore]

Well After the advice of a good friend that I met on this site, I am going to

 

contact my ex-gf. We have not spoken in almost 4 months now, and I

 

think it would be weird to call, so I am going to send her an email. I just

 

feel that I have wanted to talk to her for a long time now. If I do not I am

 

afraid that I will regret it. Also like smiles314 said to me, if I wait I could

 

find out that I should have called, but basically missed my chance.

 

 

As I have done many times before, I am asking the forum for help. I

 

want to know what I should write to her? I do not want to sound

 

desperate, or that I am throwing myself at her feet! I just miss her alot,

 

and want to talk to her!

 

 

Please help, because I am really nervous about this, my palms are

 

sweating, and I can feel my heart pounding. I am just scared that she will

 

not reply, or that I will find out something that I do not want to

 

hear.

[winkie]

Well first of all you have to know the various outcomes and how you would feel if they happen. 1) she may not reply-if she does not how would you feel?? 2) she does reply and has moved on (ex b/f or seeing someone)-How would you feel? 3) She replies and just wants to be friends and does not have a b/f-How would you feel? OR the one we all wish for 4) She replies and misses you as well. You need to know how you would react to these just in case because you do not want to leave yourself out there for disappointment.

As for the email....you should start by saying that you have been thinking about her and hope she is doing well. Ask her about somethings that you know she is involved in (school, sports) maybe you can bring up something that might of reminded you of her (maybe something cute and funny) and you can also say that is why you are writing her....do not mention that you want her back or anything start it off slow and see if she responds she may miss you as well. Good luck and I hope she replies.

[hennypenny]

kantore--

 

having been on the receiving end of an e-mail from an ex...let me tell you, if u guys ended on a good note, then she'll be all too thrilled to hear from u.....but if it was a bad note......that can get tricky...I agree with winkie about saying some thing made u think of her( cute or funny is up to u) it'll make it less awkward sounding.....be prepared for all possabilities as well. She maybe seeing some1 or not. Don't ask if she is right away either....it'll sound like very desperate.....but ask her how lifes treating her.....just things that u would normally ask a friend....and don't be afraid or nervous.....ur not doing anything wrong or bad right?!

I hope everything turns out for the best....Good Luck sweetie

[reborn]

Hey Kantore,

I agree with previous posters. Best thing to do is to go slow. Send her a nice, friendly email. Just asking her how she is and just saying something reminded you her. I don{t see why she wouldn{t respond to something like this.

I don{t think you have to worry right away about finding out she is seeing someone else. I don{t think she will tell you of this. If she does I think it will be to piss you off, for revenge stuff like that. But it takes a rude or immature person to do this. I don{t know how you guys ended it, but if it was a friendly breakup or at least not mean things done, no hard feelings, no reason why she should have a mean reaction.

However, I do think you have to be prepared for friendship. I do think this is the worst that could happen when you still have feelings for someone you were once with--that while you still miss them they just wna to be your friend. Believe me, I know this feeling. But oh well, have spoken about this situation in many postings and won{t go into it here.

Be prepared also to wait a little for her response. When my ex has emailed me I wait at least a week or 2 weeks to answer him back. I do this purposely as he was the one that dumped me. Oh well, he is lucky I even answer his emails....but again, sorry this is my situation, not yours.

Just be ready to take it slow. Start with emails, then see what her response is and then move on to phone calls. Ireally do hope things work out. Please do update us as to what you ended up doing. Best of luck to you. Hope she misses you too

-reborn