I can't choose

[janaceke7121]

Help me. Give me advice.

 

What would you do when more than two people had feelings toward you at the same time and you really needed them in your life seriously?

 

I met two really wonderful persons in the internet. It's diffcult to see them in the reality. They live so far from here. But anyhow I saw one of them in the reality before. The time with the person was wonderful. We both wanted the time again to make sure the feeling is true.

The other person showed love in the internet. He seriously and sincerely loves me. He encourages me every day anytime I want him.

The other guy doesn's do that much but I feel we belong with each other.

My pain is gone when I talk with them. I am so lonely here. It's hard for me to live without their cares and love.

 

The thing went very bad when I bought an airplane ticket to visit them. I bought it originally for the person who I haven't seen in the reality. At that time I didnt know that the other one also had feeling toward me although I wished he also had feeling toward me.

 

I know I love both but I need to choose one. but I can't because I haven't confirmed the love yet. We shouldn't chain each other right now and need to know each other more and more and little by little. Without being bf/gf so hashly, I think my love exists for them.

They want me to choose. but I can't sacrifice one of them for my happiness.

When the other guy I already saw in the reality wouldn't allow me to see the boy when I come to their country. So behind him, I bought another airplane ticket to see the boy (or I would have lost chance to see him forever. )

Then I saw the person in the reality. But I couldn't keep the secret that I saw the boy in the reality to him and told the truth.

He said it's the end of the relationship.

 

When I asked if the boy I saw in the reality first really wanted the futhre with me, he couldn't say yes while the other guy from the beginnng says yes, he even allowed me to have time to choose.

 

The person seems to want happy love rather than me. If I can't offer it, it's really the end of the relathinship with him...? I feel so sad. I stil want to see him again. I already bought the ticket.

 

I know the boy I saw in the reality second loves me more than the other boy. But I can't choose one just because of it. I need to listen to my heart. I really like them the same.

 

What should I do?

Tell me.

 

Sorry if you hardly understand what I said here, I am not good at English.

But please give me advice.

[annie24]

welcome to enotalone. I personally would be wary of both of them, how can you love someone you don't even know?

 

personally, I would choose the one who flew out to see me.

 

or just don't make any drastic decisions until you meet in person.

[freedom]

i think you shouldnt date any of them. Seems that you dont know what you want and you are only going out with them because they like you. What is the point of going out with a person that likes you and you are sure you like them?

I suppose i am thinking that if you do going out with either of them it is about them liking you and not so much about you liking them. You just have too much options of your plate and neither is true love but convience.

But i may be wrong,

[Rabican]

Its not possible to love somone over the internet. You may love the idea, or the fantasy of that person... but its just not the same. Dont argue with me, im right. That said, you met two people online, just be friends with them, talk to them, develop whatever you can develop with them but if they ask if you are talking to anyone else, just be honest. No logical person should expect you to 'commit' to a internet relationship without having at least met in person first.

 

Now if you meet someone, and things click and you decide to be exclusive then you need to keep any other friendship strictly plutonic, dont go building an emotional affair if you have commited to someone else.

[CharmedphoenixRising]

It's via the internet. Don't go building it up till you've met for real 'cos it's just a fantasy in your head

 

[janaceke7121]

Thank you for advice.

Now actually I met both of them in the reality. One for four days before thre was no important feeilngs toward them, and two for 9 days after I got feelings toward both of them.

the first guy didnt want me to meet the other guy. He gave me a deal, if I see the second one, he will never see me again. I broke up this promise and lied to him and met the second guy. I told about it after I went to the second boy. He said its over.

It seems I wanted the first boy's character and the second boy's love in one person. But the first one said he never wants to see me. Do you think I tries to ask him to see me again? I bought a airplane ticket to see him already with no refound. Is it going to be waste?

[hateithere]

My advice would be the next time you want to spend that much money thinking you might not get anything out of it... but a hott outfit and go to the club, have some fun, you will probably have more luck than trying the internet for love.