swtangel980 Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 i am really confuesed..i have this guy in one of my classes...hes so kute. and i really am crushing him hard which is weird cuz he is like my age when i usually date like 2-6 yrs above my age. so this is a good thing for me. and the first couple days i was like hell yeha i really liek him then BAM his girlfriend is in our class and i didnt know it they dont act all bf/gf like i dont know i guess they do now that i know but he just makes me feel like he likes me. i could be wrong but i think he likes me too i dont know should i make a move? i dont want to do the wrong thing here that would be terribly embarrasing! Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 now the best information i can probobly give you is to just go for him to me all a love life is a cat and mouse game first come first get which is my saying but this info might not help but just go for him and dont worry about anything Link to comment
swtangel980 Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 his gf would be PISSED..i would hate to be her if i ended taking him from her..lol..i dont even know her she could be really cool and they seem to have a good thing going i dont wanna be resposible for breaking that up but i REALLY like hiM!! Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 well yeah i know you would hurt her feelings but wouldnt yo be getting the guy your crushing on.....and another reason you said he probobly likes you allittle as well so dont worry about the girl Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Um, don't just go for him that is probably the worst thing you could do. Think about the consequences of your actions. I don't know why people seem to think the love can only be with one person and that if you want something you have to go for it. There are plenty of available people who are great to date. Why do we fixate on one person? What will happen if you steal this guy? Well it could damage your friendships, it will make people look down on you. Sure you will have the guy but for how long? Let alone the old maxim holds true "What goes around comes around" Some day some girl might come in and steal your man. How about you respect their relationship and allow things to unfold naturally. There are plenty of fish in the sea, You might well succeed in getting the guy, but trust me it won't be worth it in the end. This would be no different then stealing someone's prized possession. Theft is wrong, it is a sin (if that matters to you) and it will get you nowhere good. Set your sights on another, this is my advice to you. Link to comment
swtangel980 Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 i really shouldnt go for him i know..thats bad...but i feel so drawn to him..i guess its nature want what u cant have i wanna respect his girlfriend but in another way i want to just say the hell with her..i dont know shes not my friend she has never made an effort to be nice to me. but i know i know. karma is a bitch. i guess ill wait it out see where it goes Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 19, 2003 Share Posted August 19, 2003 Karma is your friend, it keeps you on the right path (the path of righteousness) And in ensures that all who harm you receive the justice they deserve. Why not try to be his friend? I doubt he will be dating her forever. Maybe you just need to chill and see what happens. There is a time and a place for everything. It's a nice thought to be with him right now, but sometimes what we need and what we want is different. We have to learn to accept this or live in perpetual suffering. Link to comment
swtangel980 Posted August 19, 2003 Author Share Posted August 19, 2003 i dont know if i can 'just' be friends with him hes just too apealing for me. i dont think i can jsut watch him be with her.its either all or nothing at this point for me maybe its best to leave it at nothing.. Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 well i dont think you want to leave it at nothing because then youll spend quite some time wondering what it would of been like and if it would of workied out or not so i think you should just try and if it does not work out then you got many other guys to choose from Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 Puffdaddy, I understand where you are coming from. The old maxim "Go for what you want, seize every opportunity you can." I do understand what you are saying. I would normally agree with you. However I have to stress again, we must temper our desires with wisdom and reason. We cannot always go for what we want because what we want is not what we need. If we go for what we want we may lose far more then we have gained. I urge extreme caution when it comes to matters of the heart. Far to often people listen to their hearts and act without really thinking. This can cause so much pain and suffering not only for them but also for others they hurt. So please once again, I must stress, Temper your hearts desires with the wisdom of experience. Do not be lead astray by your desires. Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 but crookster.....what would you gain if you dont get what you want cause yes some stuff you dont want to do that but somthing that has to do with someone you like just to go out with and love isnt somthing you should be worried about....now if you are talking about marrige or somthing of that nature then you are going to want to lay back and see what happens instead of going for what you want but in this situation i think she should go for the guy. Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 Fair enough, every situation is grey. There is no black and white in regards to relationships. I generally advise caution and respect when dealing with couples. In my mind if the girl I want is take, I leave it be. Simply because I don't want to deal with all the baggage and possible conflicts that could possibly erupt. Everyone has to make their own choices in this situation. I hope that everyone is aware though that if they do go for the guy/girl that you want nothing is stopping anyone else from treating you with the same disregard. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we respected each other a little more and didn't try to take something that wasn't ours? Just a though. Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 well yes some times i do agree with that but do you know how sad and depressed the world would be if you could not get somthing you wanted just because of someone else... i know id be all messed up if i couldnt. Link to comment
crookster_man Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 I think we are debating to different things here. There is a difference between desires and needs. If we don't get what we need (affection, food, shelter, education...) we will defiantly suffer. However desires shouldn't be something that can deeply affect our happiness. If we allow our desires to be the only thing that gives us happiness, then we will always be suffering. Because sometimes there are things that we just can't have no matter how hard we try. So Happiness should be found within. We should try to validate our lives with our own self-confidence and self worth. Basically what I am saying is that our desires and attachments should be something that could bring added pleasure, but not the only thing. Just because we are without something we want doesn't mean we should be unhappy. Maybe getting that person would make us happy for a short period of time, but in the end we would suffer (through break-up, divorce, or death. We would lose them). I'm not saying we should have goals and ambitions, I'm saying we shouldn't be attached to them. Happiness and contentment comes from within not in the external world. Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 you do have an exallent point there so im going to stop this debate here cause i dont think i this subject we will ever end this conversation cause we will keep debating but yes i do think you have exallent back ups for your theorys. If i ever need anything i know ill probobly come to you... and i hope we answered your question whomever sent this. Link to comment
swtangel980 Posted August 20, 2003 Author Share Posted August 20, 2003 ok, wow...both of yall have such good points..now im really confused...becuase both make so much sense get him and his gf feels awful and then not get him and me feel awfull....which is better??.....i have a feeling the answer is clear im jsut blind to it. Link to comment
puffdaddycurl Posted August 20, 2003 Share Posted August 20, 2003 well its your chioce so choose what you would like Link to comment
baby_innocence Posted August 23, 2003 Share Posted August 23, 2003 dont completely go after him for now. actually its better off if you lay off of him since he's taken. would you like it if you go out with him, and then a girl ends up going after your man? nuh-uh i dont think so. lay off for now, and wait until they break up. once they break up, you can pick up the pieces that might've fallen off a bit, and help him get back on his feet. that way you'll end up bein his savior! all the better right? anyway, maybe you should just be a pal to him. its cool you get a vibe that he likes you, and all, but sometimes vibes dont really tell the truth...dont jump to things without thinking. dont go after him neither. his girlfriend would kill you...good luck.. Link to comment
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