Is it advisable?

[sarge17]

Is it advisable to seek help with your relationship from a friend of the person you are dating??

 

There is a saying that men should not seek advice from women on issues they are having with women. And vice versa.

 

Any thoughts?

[texami]

i don't necessarily agree with the gender issue on asking for advice... i get some of the best advice on dealing with my man from guy friends.

 

but, i wouldn't ask a friend of my SO about issues if i didn't want my SO to know that i was talking about him! asking thier friends for adivce seems like a risky move if you want to keep it hush-hush.

[heloladies21]

I personally rarely get good advice from women in general regarding relationships. It's not from bad intnetions, it's just different way of thinking which us guys can't make work. Even worse is to get one of her friends involved because her personal feelings will dictate some of the advice she gives and you want someone who can take a purely objective view of the situation. Best thing you could do would be to post your story on here and get our advice.

[Serendipity1607307077]

I think it's not a problem seeking out advice from the opposite sex... but I would definitely not ask a friend of my boyfriend's. The reason for this is that if they are really close, they will most probably share whatever you have discussed with your partner... and that's not cool either, especially if you want it all to stay confidential...

[Clementyne]

I agree with everything that has been said here. I advise that you confide in men but not his male friends; it's a very dangerous territory.

 

I just want to make one point regarding what heloladies21 has said: Perhaps the fact that genders have a different way of thinking is the source of all relationship problems, and thereforeeee, their solutions. I think that one of the major source of conflict between men and women has to do with the fact that we are very different. What women regard as upsetting, men might not and vice versa. So, if you confide in a woman about your problem she might tell you something you totally disagree with, however, that doesn't mean that it is not the reality of the situation. But then again, maybe you haven't received good advice from women. For me, the advice posted here by men has been pretty enlightening for me, not because it's better than what women have to say (both men and women post equally helpful advice), but because of what they reveal to me and other women about gender differences.

[rikka]

I agree... I like to seek the opinion of men sometimes (largely because it is so different from the opinion of women) and it helps me to get the potential insight of my boyfriend (if it is a relationship issue).

 

That being said, I agree with the other posters. I would never seek the counsel of his/her friends. It is too risky and somewhat inappropriate. You also don't want to put one of his/her friends in the middle.

 

To be honest, some of the worst advice I was ever given was unsolicited advice from one of Evan's female friends. I am quite glad I didn't follow it.