Help!

[catsanddogs315]

Hi, i'm an English girl that came on vacation 3 months ago with my husband to America, i was staying with a friend and her husband that i met on the internet. We had a great 2 weeks, apart from the fact that my husband threatened to beat me up whilst i was here and her husband smoked a little too much weed! So, after an initial argument, i told my husband, it was over (it had been on the cards for a while) The reason? I had fallen for my friend. I took it upon myself to tell her one evening in the hotub. She responded with a little shock, but we started an affair.Her first gay relationship and my second. My husband went home to England, and left me In America penniless! Since then he has filed for divorce, which is just fine with me! My friend (or girlfriend) since left her husband and we moved to Utah to be nearer her family. They have accepted me with open arms, and have made me feel very welcome. (a few of them know about us). I had to go home to England, as i am only entitled to stay for 90 days at a time. I took my girlfriend with me. We had a good week, but i decided i couldnt come back to America, whilst i was at the airport waiting to board! She flew back alone. But as i travelled back to my home, i realised i had made a grave mistake. So i booked a flight for the next day and flew, by myself to be with her. She welcomed me back with open arms and we stayed with her sister and brother-in-law in thier spare bedroom. The thing is, we argued so much, she told me it wasnt working and i needed to go back to England. I booked my flight and prepared myself for a broken heart. We went around her relatives so i could say goodbye. But the last relatives, her nephew and his wife said they couldnt bear the thought of us breaking up and wanted us to try to work it out. My girlfriend explained that she felt suffocated and that she couldnt get on with her life, she needed to find a job and get her life on track. So they suggested that if i moved in with them (about 5 miles away) it may give her time to breathe. She agreed, so did i, i cancelled my flight and moved in. They have 4 boys, and so i am pretty busy, acting as a nanny for them, cleaning, cooking and stuff. Its ok. I have been here a week. To begin with, she phoned me 4 times a day. She invited me to spend the weekend at her dads and we had the best time. But in the last couple of days, she hasnt wanted to see me. I still call her about twice a day just to check in and let her know i'm thinking of her. we were supposed to have gone for lunch today with a group of her family, but it was cancelled. I asked if i could take her out to lunch instead and she said no. She said she would call me this morning, so i kept my cell with me, but no call. So i sent her an email explaining that i am doing everything she asked of me, but she isnt giving me anything back. She called me at 12 to say she was annoyed about my email and i was to back off. She then said she didnt want to see me today and hung up. I havent called her back, i've done as she has requested , once again. I sent her a nice 'i believe in us' e-card. And i'm waiting for a call. I dont know if i'm doing the right thing? Doesnt she realise that i chased half way round the world to be with her? I'd do anything for her, she is my world. I love her so much. Do i just sit back and hope she'll want to be closer to me? It rips me apart and my mind does overtime worrying about it. I'm in a strange country staying with people i don't really know. They have been so kind to me. She hasnt called me yet. The people i am staying with are buying a house for myself and my girlfriendf to rent from them, so we can get on with our lives. She is really excited about it. She is 51 and i am 33. I just want her to want me a bit more. Help!!!!

[Blue Skittles]

Ok well first thing its probably an emotional rollercoaster for her right now, after leaving her husband only 3 months ago. Maybe she is still trying to deal with that. Maybe it was all just a thrill for her and now that is getting serious she came to her senses and doesn't want it to happen. The other thing is, she clearly stated to you that she needed some space but you continue to call every 2 days and send cards and stuff. Its only making her feel more suffocated. I think you should actually give her the space she needs for awhile and see what happens. If things don't improve after a few weeks then ask her what her feelings for you are.

[catsanddogs315]

Ok, i can see that now. She actually called me in the last half hour. She told me she loves me, and that today was a difficult day for her. I just let her know that i was here for her and she could contact me whenever she felt she wanted to.

She sounded a little more positive and happier. I'm not going to call her, i'll let her make the moves, and that way i know that she'll want to talk to me or want to see me.

Thanks again.

[Armane]

oh thats awesome

[Cadence308]

Hi welcome to enotalone. As another thread said...it's only been three months since she left her husband and the two of you hooked up. She's probably emotionally drained.

 

It is a good idea to let her make the moves and let her meet you half-way, instead of calling her all of the time. Give her the space she needs and see what happens.

 

GL!

[Tigris]

It's possible that her husband hasn't given her a lot of attention over the latter years of their marriage. Suddenly, she's in love with someone younger who's 'full on' and she's feeling overwhelmed.

 

I'm like that too. I had to learn to back off and be patient. It doesn't always work though, but I do try my best.

 

Good luck