Hope

[splinter]

I thought I would write in this forum, because I would very much like some female input. This thing called hope, I want to get rid of it so much, but it lingers on. She broke up with me. All my friends said I was so good to her, even her mom says its her fault, yet I know that I wasn't always there for her and I didn't do everything in my power to make this work. Well now I have realized these things and I so want to try again, but when she broke up with me she said that she couldn't give me another chance.

 

Yet, when I see her, she always dresses up. The first time I saw her after a month she even wore a shirt that I had gotten her. Maybe she doesn't miss me, well she didn't say she did directly, but she cried a lot and said she missed my roommates and living at the house. She asked if my roommates were going to a festival and if they were for them to call her. Why didn't she ask them herself. Why would she invite them, but not me when she knows I am always with my roommates. She had to deposit a check and I explained to her how to do that, but she said it was too difficult and asked me if she could come with me when I went.

 

Am I being too hopeful? Am I just reading into this too much? Should I just move on? Should I just tell her its too hard to be friends right now? Should I try to win her back? I just don't know what to do and my friends are split on both camps. I miss her so much.

[Cappi]

Hmmm.

 

 

Well... I think, in that situation, you should just lay back and relax, see what plays out. If she's already told you that she isn't going to give you another chance, to me that means that she doesn't really want you trying to win her back or anything like that.

 

It could just be that she needs a little time to think about everything. If you treated her as well as you and your friends say, then there's a chance she'll see the light and come back. You never mentioned a reason why she broke up with you in the first place.

 

If you just sit back, hang out with her or help her out when you get the chance... then it gives her the opportunity to chill and think about things. Don't waste time by waiting for her, though - if you meet someone else by chance, then take it. In other words, keep the lines of communication open, but don't wait forever.

[EmptySoul]

IMO it seems like she still likes you, or at least misses you. you said you didn't do everything you could to keep things togther. you have to remember though, it takes two people to keep things going smoothly. it's your call about what to do: lay back and see what happens, try to get her back, tell her it's too hard to be friends right now but you want to be eventually, break things off alltogether. its your choice..do what you feel is right.

 

*¿ºEmptySoulº¿*

[splinter]

Thanks for all your support,

 

There are basically 3 main reasons why she broke up with me. Obviously, there are a lot more reasons, but these are the main things.

 

1. She started going to school over here met a lot of friends and is probably having the time of her life. She never experienced the college life in her home country and is now trying to live it up.

2. I was so worried about our future that I forgot the present and sort of neglected her. I was so focused on saving money for us, focusing on my career so that I could support her, etc. that I just forgot that she is here in a new country and was having a hard time herself adjusting.

3. Since she was in a new country and didn't speak the language herself, I really babied her and treated her like a younger sister or my daughter and she started to feel inferior to me.

 

I'm not saying that I was a bad guy at all. My intenetions were very sincere. She meant everything to me and I just wanted her to live a comfortable life. I supported her financially, I never restricted her from having fun, I introduced all my friends to her so she could adjust more comfortably. I tried to take her everywhere she needed to go, but these were places she had to go, but I didn't take her to places she wanted to go because I thought I was too busy.

 

I do honestly want to just wait this out. I figure I won't contact her at all, but of course if she contacts me I will try to sound happy and help her out when I can. The problem is that she will probably be moving back to her home country in a couple of months after school finishes so I just feel the clock is ticking away and that its going to be do or die soon. I just don't know what to do.

 

Thanks for listening to my whining,

 

Splinter