Becoming more talkative

[3akatOn]

Here's my story : As far as I remember, I have always been a naturally shy person. In grade 10-11, I started to become more extrovert and I was really happy with this change. I thought that my shyness problem was over. Everything was fine until my family (and I) immigrated to Canada.

 

My new school is fine and I like it. I am currently in grade 12. I have some friends, but very few of the that I can really be close to. They are just school friends, period. My classmates know that I don't talk a lot but they like me the way I am . (as a nice, kind and quiet guy). The thing is, ever since I came to this school, I have become extremely shy, even worse than before. I also have to add that English is not my primary language, but I can understand and write it. When it comes to speaking it, I am not that fluent. I can hold conversations with my classmates, but they don't last very long. Sometimes I still try to translate from my primary language (French) and come up with weird words or sentences.

 

I feel very unhappy because my shyness problem has come out again. I never raise my hand in class (though i used to in my other school). During lunch, I hardly ever speak when I am in a group, nor do I speak a lot in a 1on1 or small groups. Sometimes I have nothing to say, or I feel weird to randomly pop into the conversation. The fact that I need to speak English makes it even worse to express myself. So I prefer to stay quiet, listen to the conversations and force myself to laugh - just to show that I'm still part of the conversation. It's like those chat conversations when you say 'lol' when you have nothing else to say. Else, I go somewhere else, alone, and I let myself get carried away by my thoughts. (most of the time, I think about my life in general and try to assess it)

 

I also noticed that I smile less than I used to. This does not help either. I know others may think I am arrogant and reserved, but sometimes, especially these last few weeks, I don't really feel like smiling. I cant even fake a smile..

 

As time passes by, I feel I'm becoming more and more what I don't want to become.

 

Any suggestions from you guys would help me out a lot.

[MetallicAguy]

I think your less confident with your surroundings than when you were at your old school. I'm not too sure what else to say about your problem, but at least I scratched the surface for you?

 

good luck

[growingfindingmyself]

I know how you feel. I'm also in grade 12 and am attending a school in toronto. I never was really quiet when I was in middle school and one day in high school grade 11 I noticed that I was as quiet as I ever was. I feel like I can do nothing about it - and at the same time I feel like there is something I can do about it, but it's just not apparent.

 

I am not a foreigner to the country, although I was a foreigner to this region of the city when I moved here from downtown toronto. I found myself being more shy, observant and quiet my first few weeks here and then I found my social skills slowly deteriorate within the next 4 years I spent here.

 

I too have 'school friends' but I don't get much luck past the acquanticeship -except for a few whom I occasionally hang out with. Is it the people? Is it me? Who knows. I don't know.

 

Perhaps we are what they call laconic. Perhaps we are not. Perhaps we need to inflate our self-esteem. Perhaps we do not.

 

I know this is not helpful but, I just wanted to say that I can relate and if you ever find an answer message me (if pm is allowed here).

[BYOB]

I'm concerned about your activities outside of school. What's your parental relationship ? What do you do together with them ? If I'm not mistaken, since you moved, they're now more busy and they're neglecting a bit more about taking time with you. Tell me if it's the case or not. I think that it's significative.