Here's my story : As far as I remember, I have always been a naturally shy person. In grade 10-11, I started to become more extrovert and I was really happy with this change. I thought that my shyness problem was over. Everything was fine until my family (and I) immigrated to Canada.
My new school is fine and I like it. I am currently in grade 12. I have some friends, but very few of the that I can really be close to. They are just school friends, period. My classmates know that I don't talk a lot but they like me the way I am . (as a nice, kind and quiet guy). The thing is, ever since I came to this school, I have become extremely shy, even worse than before. I also have to add that English is not my primary language, but I can understand and write it. When it comes to speaking it, I am not that fluent. I can hold conversations with my classmates, but they don't last very long. Sometimes I still try to translate from my primary language (French) and come up with weird words or sentences.
I feel very unhappy because my shyness problem has come out again. I never raise my hand in class (though i used to in my other school). During lunch, I hardly ever speak when I am in a group, nor do I speak a lot in a 1on1 or small groups. Sometimes I have nothing to say, or I feel weird to randomly pop into the conversation. The fact that I need to speak English makes it even worse to express myself. So I prefer to stay quiet, listen to the conversations and force myself to laugh - just to show that I'm still part of the conversation. It's like those chat conversations when you say 'lol' when you have nothing else to say. Else, I go somewhere else, alone, and I let myself get carried away by my thoughts. (most of the time, I think about my life in general and try to assess it)
I also noticed that I smile less than I used to. This does not help either. I know others may think I am arrogant and reserved, but sometimes, especially these last few weeks, I don't really feel like smiling. I cant even fake a smile..
As time passes by, I feel I'm becoming more and more what I don't want to become.
Any suggestions from you guys would help me out a lot.
