How do these work?

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hello all!

 

I imagine I will receive negative replies on this post, but I need some advice.

 

Okay well to start off with, I'm 17 years old and I have been chatting to a boy the same age as me online. I have met his friend before and I have seen him on webcam a few times. I really trust them. I can talk to them about anything and they're very decent guys.

 

Basically the guy I like lives about 250 miles away from me which sucks. I'm going to meet him in person with his friend (who I have met before) and my best friend at College in three or four weeks.

 

We really like each other and find each other attractive, only I guess we will know better in person. The only problem is, if we find we still "like" each other in person, how do we make it work? I mean I don't fancy the idea of letting him go if we like each other just because of the distance.

 

I mean is it possible for something to work?

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Miya xx

[jengh]

Well, I'm in the exact same situation, except for the fact that I'm 19. I met my boyfriend online and we talked for months before finally meeting. To date, we've been together for 6 months. He lives about 2 hours away. It's not easy, but it CAN work. The fact that you're still underage makes things more difficult. Do your parents know about your situation? Do you have a car? Is he willing to visit you as often as you make the effort to see him? Ben and I make it work by talking on the phone every night, IMing during the day when we can and seeing each other every week or two. Realize, though, that it DOES get expensive with the gas and whatnot. Since you've met his friend, and you can trust him, there is, in my opinion, nothing wrong with meeting this boy. Is he the same age as you? Much older? I recommend meeting him possibly with one of your girlfriends, just to be on the safe side. And please, let your parents know what's going on. But to be blunt, yes it can work, but it takes a LOT of effort on BOTH parts. Good luck to you.

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hiya,

 

my parents don't know of the situation as yet. I'm not hiding it out of spite but I don't see a point of mentioning it until I have met Darren and thought about how we feel etc ...

 

I will mention is to them when I'm more comfortable about it all. We're both 17 years old (I'm a month older). The downside is I don't drive, I can't really afford it while I'm AS student I'm afarid. The best I can do is to travel down every now and again to London to see him.

 

Darren has a problem talking on phones too, he said he can't talk to his mum for more than 30 seconds either. So I guess we can text, e-mail and messenger one another.

 

I was going with my best friend from College anyway.

 

Thanks for your reply,

 

Miya xx

[jengh]

Hiya,

 

my parents don't know of the situation as yet. I'm not hiding it out of spite but I don't see a point of mentioning it until I have met Darren and thought about how we feel etc ...

 

I will mention is to them when I'm more comfortable about it all. We're both 17 years old (I'm a month older). The downside is I don't drive, I can't really afford it while I'm AS student I'm afarid. The best I can do is to travel down every now and again to London to see him.

 

Darren has a problem talking on phones too, he said he can't talk to his mum for more than 30 seconds either. So I guess we can text, e-mail and messenger one another.

 

I was going with my best friend from College anyway.

 

Thanks for your reply,

 

Miya xx

 

The whole phone thing makes things a little difficult, but it's not necessary. Some people, myself included, are more apt to start fights on the phone as opposed to in person or texting. I'm not entirely sure why. It definitely wouldn't hurt to meet him though, just to see how things go. I tend to jump the gun on things and overevaluate before a situation even happens. Just play it by ear. Meet him and go from there. Who knows, maybe you two will be completely wrong for each other. But, on the other hand, you could have an excellent relationship. It's too hard to say.

[Rabican]

theres no substitute for actually spending time with someone. remember that.

 

However, it can work I guess (ive never tried, but ill assume it can) I would just think that you would have to have a gameplan for how you can eventually spend some real time together. My idea of a relationship wouldnt be seeing someone once or twice a year for a few days. Why bother, just be friends if thats the case and then you dont have to worry about trust, distance, sex etc. etc. But if you can work it out so you can see each other once in a while, or maybe after someoen is done with school/ work you can move closer or something like that, then give it a try.

 

Just know that those feelings you develop for someone on their webcam, is more fantasy than reality.