mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 My girlfriend seems to be really distant lately in school, always with her friends and I miss her so so much We see each other on the weekends occasionally, but she is also with her friends quite a lot, I know its good to have a balance, but right now she is 90% friends 10% me. This afternoon in school, I was telling her a joke but she didnt hear me and she asked what I said because she was talking to someone else. I said dont worry about it, its not important. But she pushed to try and get the answer, and i kept saying its not important and then she said OK FINE ILL JUST DO THAT TO YOU NEXT TIME and i replied saying you already have. She does it ALL the time to me, it doesnt seem fair and from that point on we had a silence until the end of the day we just hugged and said bye and things are weird... Not sure what to do... I hate feeling weird like this... So in conclusion: I feel distant from her at school I hardly feel like her BF. I've told her how I feel and I think I should just give her some space. We just had a small argument and things are weird not sure how to proceed. I dont want to contact her because I dont wanna give in when its her fault. She always seems to be getting annoyed with me. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 OK, something isn't good here for sure. You guys need to sit down ASAP and have a serious heart-to-heart. Ask her what's really going on. Don't force her to talk but do tell her how the current situation is making you feel...how it is eating you up inside...go from there... Don't avoid this talk, this is very important. This situation is only going to get worse if you don't lay things out and sort them out right now. Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 well we did talk... 1 week ago, shes distant because she cares a lot more about her friends now than she did before and she wants to stay close with them. and about her getting pissy with me i have no idea... and i dont wanna give in. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 well we did talk... 1 week ago, shes distant because she cares a lot more about her friends now than she did before and she wants to stay close with them. and about her getting pissy with me i have no idea... and i dont wanna give in. Have another talk about this "being pissy" part... What do you mean you "don't wanna give in"? Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 We arent really talking atm, school has finished and its a been a couple of hrs. Normally she or I would text one another or call. We ended on non-talking terms. "don't wanna give in" I think she should be the one coming to me and saying sorry... "being pissy", well just lately she seems to be getting annoyed with me. If I was to talk about it with her I would after she apologises or when we are talking and good again. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 You say you "ended". Are you guys done or what? Explain this "ending" you speak of... I think in general you should toss your idea about "not giving in", thinking "she should be the one who comes to you and apologizes". You don't want to play games like that...and if she plays these games with you...you're better off without her...imagine the rest of your life playing games like this...I'd rather light myself on fire, eat broken glass, and listen to Yanni... The part about her being annoyed more easily with you is a very big deal. In my experience, this spells trouble...figure this out with her ASAP... Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 ok thx well i meant instead of "ended" i mean said bye. She used to be more willing to fix things now she just seems to not care so much. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 She used to be more willing to fix things now she just seems to not care so much. This exact feeling has been the kiss of death to every serious relationship I've had. Don't underestimate this indifference. Someone "not caring" is the worst feeling (or lack thereof) to have in a relationship... Get on this, start talking ASAP... Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 Im wondering whether to wait till the end of the day and see if she texts/calls, and if she doesnt I will... Or should I just get to it right away? Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Well, at this point with everything you've written, I've got to be honest and say if I were you, I'd prepare for something you don't want to hear during this talk... If it were me, I'd do it now. Get your answers and get going with solutions...why wait???? Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 I just rang her shes eating dinner at the moment, she said "yeah i was wondering whether you were gonna call or not..." she seemed fine... why am i the only one stressing out about this... what do i say to her? Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I just rang her shes eating dinner at the moment, she said "yeah i was wondering whether you were gonna call or not..." she seemed fine... why am i the only one stressing out about this... what do i say to her? Just explain your feelings to her...if you have a good fit together, she'll understand... Tell her basically what you told us... Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 ok well im upset... i just miss her and she doesnt seem to realise. I just called her... She has changed... She cares a lot about school and friends now... Since we are in our senior year. We said bye ending like this: Her 'well do you want me to call you later or not?" Me 'yeah if u want but dont expect me to be in the happiest of moods" Her " ok well we'll just speak tmmrw then." Me "ok sure bye babe" Her "bye" We see each other at school tmmrw not sure how to proceed. How should I act? We usually text each other in the morning. Should I just let her initiate everything? Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 Any reply would do I just feel alone... Link to comment
blemished Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I see red flags here. This is an unhappy person. She is doing all the classic things a person does when she or he no longer wants to be in a relationship. She may not consciously know she doesn't want to be with you, and by the time she realizes, she will have broken your heart. Either have a talk with her or tell her you need some time alone, and use the time alone to consider if you really want to be with her or not. Link to comment
sumguy Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Pride is all well and good, but there's a place for it and there's a place where it just makes a bad situation worse. The trick is identifying wether the current situation is the former or the latter... Link to comment
mmd Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 She says she loves me... and we had a really good weekend together very loving, its just shes really different in school. Her priorities change when she does to school. I just talked to her and im feeling better, Im just going to give her some space and hope we dont argue in the next couple of days. Should i make plans with her on the weekend? Link to comment
Ms. Babydoll Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Ok so for me (being a woman and all) I tend to push people away the more I miss them. For example, lately I've been missing my boyfriend terribly and then it comes to those precious moments when he txts me to tell me how much he misses me and asks what I'm doing and I reply with, "oh I haven't even been thinking about you lately and I'm busy, chat later," and although I want to say something completely different I don't because us woman love to play hard to get. After reading your first post in this thread I think that 'playing hard to get' is exactly what your girlfriend is doing. It sounds to me like your not really communicating with her enough. You never know, maybe if you sat her down (while you were both alone together) and told her everything about how your feeling and how she makes you feel, you'll be surprised that maybe she's been feeling the exact same way but has been covering it up by acting as though she's not very interested in you at the moment. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 She is doing all the classic things a person does when she or he no longer wants to be in a relationship. No kidding. mmd, I hate to say this, but she isn't really in the relationship anymore my friend... Link to comment
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