I broke NC with text

[reddog]

I broke NC two nights ago with a simple text with "Had to tell you cartman's a ginger episode is on!" She replied back almost 24 hours later "Carson Palmer is a ginger! I hope everything is going ok with u" Nothing big. Just simple text. But I did it before the Grey's Anatomy premier and she texted me back just before it started, which she watches. It must have made her think. That was the point of the text. From here who knows.

I will play "the game". It is just how will I play out this game. So many ways to go. I can stick with NC and let her contact me. I can contact her again fairly soon. I know I didn't take the advise of the greats on here [-X , but I still thank you guys so much for getting me through over 2 months of not contacting my ex. Getting me over my emotional connection to her. I just need to keep it out of the situation and not let myself slide back in.

[bungalo]

Hi Reddog,

 

I could use your help on NC. I called her today, but she was in a meeting..and the operator didn't get my name..so....It's only been a little over 3 weeks since the breakup...after 2 years together..she has not contacted me one time. It was not an ugly breakup....just lots of tears....she said she was confused and felt to drained an overwhelmed by the relationship (on top of problems with her job and kids). I was reading her email..but she changed her password. She is not too computer savvy..I hope she didn't find out that I was reading her stuff. She saved all the loving emails I sent her during our time together. I am starting to feel better, and realizing that we were too addicted to each other. In fact that's what I was going to tell her when I called her. I talked to my good friend who brought up the point that I needed to take a hint-since she has not made one single contact with me since she ended it. Advice on nc? Thanks!

[reddog]

I am no where near the expert in NC. I have read many good things on here and advice that in my mind I either chose to listen to or not.

 

 

 

Don't chose to listen to part of it. Look at everything. Look at the situation in her perspective. You have to get a hold of yourself before you talk to her. Give it time. Save anything you have to say until you ARE IN CONTROL of yourself. Anything you do now emotions WILL be involved. Have a grasp on your life without her. I am just now starting to see the light. I don't want to go back into feeling she is the only one for me and this is the end of the world.

I know how much you want to contact her or her contact you, but thank her (in your mind) for not contacting you. YOU must find yourself without her in the picture. Don't think you will reget not talking to her at that point, think of how much emotions will be involved if you are talking to her and we don't want that situation to happen. I have a lot of support through an experienced friend and a sister. I am at the point I can see myself with other girls and seeing other girls attracted to me. Am I even ready to talk to her? Probably fully not, but I think this is a good chance to have a venue back into my life. I HAVE to be able to move on if things don't go the way I see them going.

 

Updated note: Good friend of mine and my cousin and another guy are going out and I was going to invite her to go to the bar with us. Gave her a call and she didn't answer. I am not going to give it a follow up call or text. If she calls tonight I will invite her. If she calls afterwards I will tell her whats up. She turned 21 after we broke up and was going to ask her if she wanted to go out because she i legally allowed to drink now. If no call, the time wasn't right and I will continue NC and continue with my own life without the one I cared about.

 

P.S. Don't read her email's. Think of that as stalking and you don't want to be a stalker. I did it once myself and feel so stupid for doing it. Get rid of everything that reminds you of her. Box it up, send it to her, send it to a family member, just get rid of it! BE STRONG! WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF AND NOT HER!

[Pippa]

Hi reddog, I did something very similar, a couple of nights ago. I broke 4 months of no contact with my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me.

 

The basic story is that she split up with me last October, and she met a new man in May 2006. After that she stopped email, texting me etc. I went into no contact until last Tuesday. There was this factual TV programme that was on, and I texted her to let her know it was on.

 

When I texted her, she replied within seconds! She replied that she was watching it already, and replied to say thanks.

 

I was shocked, I dodnt really know what to do, but I replied by saying to her to enjoy it.

 

Did it bring any feelings back? In fact, no it didn`t. The feelings will fade. It `s taken me 11 months to get over her, but I know one day they will fade forever. I still would like to go back to my ex, but I know that might not happen since she is with another man.

 

Good luck my friend.

[reddog]

I am going to try and go back into NC. One text, a reply, and a phone call not answered is enough for me. No harm done. I just need to keep standing strong. I gave her an avenue back to me and now I must go on with life.

[reddog]

Dear Reddog,

Hang in there! It's tough now, I know, but it *does* get much better as time passes ... Good luck!

Thank you. I know there are reasons for breaking up, but it is so hard to let go of what you cherrished the most. What made you feel like you were an eagle flying free accross the blue sky. It really hurts when you know if your ex saw the changes you have made since your break up, they would want you. I think right now I just miss having a relationship. Someone who you can call and talk to at night. Someone to hold. Someone who cares about you. You really don't know what you had or what you want until its gone. It is so hard for me to look at the negative things in our relationship because they were so petty. How do you let go when you believe there is a chance for the two of you again? I can move on, but I just can't seem to let go.