I Feel Hopeless...

[theoneandonly0708]

I've been on these forums for not even a year and have posted about the major love I have for this guy that I can't make go away. I can only picture myself with him, and only him. He's the only guy that is alike me on so many levels and we get a long so well. I'm not going to go into the whole thing about him again because it gets me no where. A couple of friends and myself have talked about him secretly on the possibility of him being gay or bisexual. At times, if I were to explain to you how close we get to "kissing", you'd instantly think he was gay, but then their are other times when I feel like he isn't even into me. He definitely sends mixed signals, and it's driving me crazy. It's been almost a year long crush over him. I can't break it. I'm in love with him and it seems impossible to get rid of it. I can't help it. If only I would be able to come out to him and other people and it would be accepted and I wouldn't have to worry, then maybe things would be better. But no, this world is so critical on what people are, it scares people - including me - from ever telling anybody. The thing is, I don't want to live my life in hiding, I want to be out and be able to be accepted and just live my life the way I want to, not by the way of others. But, I can't break the fear of what my family will think of me and my friends. Due to the fact that they are also extremely religious, I feel as if I will never be able to. This is beginning to drive me insane to a point where I just want to escape and live somewhere where I will be accepted. Everything is just so hard and confusing right now, especially with the major crush I have on top of it...

[craign]

Hey im straight but i have seen this and would like to make a comment.I am by no means telling you anything as far as dont or do.I have had friends that they told me they were gay then told me right after that in 2 minutes told me they wanted a relationship with me.This is me,he for some reason didnt know i was totally straight.I could have accepted him as gay.100% accepted him.So if he would have just stopped there.He would have known i wasnt.Because why wouldnt i be ok saying"hey i am too".All i said was umm ok.Thats fine it doesnt change us as being friends.I dont hang out with guys for anything other than/watching a football game,going out to a bar etc etc.I f nothing changes thats fine.But he followed it up without a thought "hey i want a relationship with you"Thats were we stopped as friends.I could be around him as gay,but not gay and wanting me.If you want a relationship, and i didnt tell you i was gay.Stop right there.You crossed a line.Honestly i loveeeeee girls but ok with having a gay guy friend.I dont care,i dont even think "hey hes gay".I look at him as a friend,thats it.This guy may be gay and all this may me nothing its just coming from a straight guys perspective.If you are gay and this is your lifestyle would you really want a friend that would not except you and the people you hang out with.good luck I know its not as simple as 1 2 3.It takes alot of thought.I hope this helped some.