One Girl.. Trying To Decide Between Two Boys

[HurleyBabe6917]

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years[on and off... currently we are broken up.]. I am 16 and so is he. we really love each other and may get married when we are in our twenties. we've been going out since 8th grade and we are currently juniors.

 

but here's the thing.. i have a hard time staying... well... commited i guess.

 

last year in english class i fell hard for this other kid. and he liked me also. this year im taking career center and i'm really starting to fall for this guy in my class. but the problem is i always fall for guys while im in a relationship, guys that are a year or two older than me, and for guys that have girlfriends;; but they always like me back.

 

so the kid in my career center class, cody, goes to a different school than me and my boyfriend. we flirt more than we should, and probably hang around in class with each other more than we should too. today he asked me to go see * * * * * * * 2, which comes out the 22nd, with him. i really dont know what to do. i mean, yes, i am starting to like the kid & just want to go as friends, but no, i don't want to lose my guy because he really means a lot to me. i mean, it's jsut a movie right? i've talked to my b/f before about this and he said he'd always be there for me. but i dont wanna liek... hoe around and be with [im not saying sex] other guys and then come back to him when somethign goes wrong.

 

this may be confusing to you. but what im trying to decide is to take a chance with a new guy and just.. see how it goes, or stay with the love of my life?

 

please... try to give me some advice.

thanks.

[BornToResist]

My advice is to take a chance. You are 16 and you need to go out and experience things.

 

In high school I had 2 boyfriends...each for 2 years. I loved them, sure, but I fully regret not getting out more and testing the waters.

 

You are young and if you are curious, go for it.

 

BUT...Don't get involved with any guy that has a gf already. That's just too much drama.

[HurleyBabe6917]

My advice is to take a chance. You are 16 and you need to go out and experience things.

 

In high school I had 2 boyfriends...each for 2 years. I loved them, sure, but I fully regret not getting out more and testing the waters.

 

You are young and if you are curious, go for it.

 

BUT...Don't get involved with any guy that has a gf already. That's just too much drama.

 

 

thanks a lot. it's just so hard to let him go though. i mean yeah, i am young, but i know i am in love with him, and i dont want to lose him if it doesnt work out between me and this other kid. he's a senior, i'm a junior, and i don't know if he'd stick around for me to graduate high school. i'm all about long term relationships. so i want a guy who's going to be here for me for a while.

 

Oh and I'm not going to make the moves really on him since he has a girlfriend. i've had my boyfriend taken from me before from this skank at our school. it wasn't pretty. im going to have him do the work. plus i think theyre on a break... if he was telling me the truth anyways.

[Jayar]

Hey,

 

First of all, you are young and BEAUTIFUL. You should be experiencing all life's joys and that includes dating. If it's meant to be between you and your BF it will be. BUT...

 

It isn't JUST a movie. If it was just a movie, you wouldn't be asking us. And it sounds to me like you want your BF in your back pocket, but only just in case it doesn't work out with someone new. This is wrong. Not because you want to see someone new, but because you want to keep your BF in your back pocket... See the difference?

 

If you want to be absolutely fair to your BF and the new guy (and yourself) then go ahead and see the new guy... But don't allow your BF to be led on. Harder than keeping him hanging around, but you wouldn't do that to someone you cared about, right?

[Momene]

Firstly, you're 16. That doesn't mean that you're not capable of loving and I certainly believe that you are capable of loving deeply. In a way it's positive that you are having a relationship that means so much to you at such an early age but there are a few twists;

 

You're in a relationship but are attracted to other boys. That is normal. Not just at 16 but 26, 36, etc

 

You're tempted to explore those attractions and it's quite natural but the older and more experienced you are, the more you realise that most of these attractions will fade anyway.

 

If you are getting a bit bored with your boyfriend or think you can do better, these feelings/temptations will be a lot stronger. If that is the case, don't cling on for the sake of it.

 

I don't know if you know my opinions about "breaks". Maybe it's mainly a US thing, as it's not common here in England. Apart from saying a relationship should be "on" or "off", I don't think people should date others while on a break; although some people use it to try out someone while keeping their original partner in the background as a fallback, which I think is unfair and cynical.

 

Finally, the person you'll be at 26 will be very different to who you are now and so will your boyfriend. You may well grow apart over this time and there are no guarantees you will stay together. Your best chance would be to finish school, get minumum wage jobs and live in the cheapest place you can find but do you love each other enough to do that? Otherwise, study will take you to ideas and places you haven't yet even dreamed of.

 

Good luck.

[TriedPatience]

Committed at 16? Life a little girl. Of course you have difficulty "remaining committed"....you're 16. You're not supposed to be committed. I think the fact that you even want to "take a chance" with another guy tells you that you need to experience dating with others.