Please Help!! My wife is leaving...AGAIN

[lonelyteet]

Hi, well this is my situation...I have been with my wife for 9 years, and married for 2, we have 3 beautiful children together, and we both have cheating in our past. I cheated on my wife(then girlfriend) the 1 and only time 6 years ago, and I have vowed to myself to never do it again. My wife on the other hand has cheated on me at least 6 times throughout our relationship. The most recent time was 2 months ago, when she met a guy where she works at a fast food restaraunt, and decided to move in with him and abandon me with the kids at home. She told me her reasoning was that she is tired of fighting with me and she just wants to be happy, given that the only time that we would fight was when she was cheating on me?? Well..about a week ago she decided that she owed it to our marriage to try to work things out, so she came back and everything was great for the first few days. Now she says that our marriage is unrepairable, and she doesn't want to try anymore, and she wants to move back in with him and his parents. When she decided to come back she said that something "snapped" in her head, and she said to her self "what in the he** am I doing"...I really wish I knew. I love her with all my heart, and the last thing I want is a divorce, but I cant live with the cheating, and lying anymore. My family, as well as hers tells me that I need to go to court and get custody of the kids and get divorced...the kids and I are emotionally spent, and I dont want to live like this anymore. What should I do??

[Annoyed And Bitter]

Oh my!!! My darling this advice comes from a child of parents with almost this exact issue. My father cheated on my mom and played the bounce-back-and-forth game for years, and it DESTROYED me. The divorce was traumatic, I won't deny that, but the not knowing was far more damaging to my self and my brother. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love, I can't imagine how hard it would be to let go after so many years. But the CHILDREN deserve some kind of stability, and so do you. I know this will be hard for you to hear, but she isn't going to change. The best possible thing you can do is end this before it gets any worse. I also advise you to seek counseling for your children and yourself. Let your children express their anger, hurt, and frustration. But above all, do not add to their pain by talking badly of their mother to or in front of them. I wish you luck, love. Please feel free to contact me directly if you need to: email removed

[PlasticPrincess]

I know it hurts, but you need to take responsibility for your kids. Get a divorce and get custody. They need love and stability and they won't get it if she keeps coming in and out of your lives.

[Geminiwolf]

((and the last thing I want is a divorce, but I cant live with the cheating, and lying anymore. My family, as well as hers tells me that I need to go to court and get custody of the kids and get divorced...the kids and I are emotionally spent, and I dont want to live like this anymore. ))

 

You asked what you should do if you read above your own words you know what to do.

 

Taking the step torward divorce is a hard thing to do, and by no means an easy step to take. You cant do anything about what your wife does, your family unit has been destroyed by the adultery in your marriage, it wont ever be the same for your kids or you. And it hurts. Some times doing the right thing isnt the easiest.

Good luck