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lose everything or gain something


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hello everyone....just postin to see if somebody can give me any advice on my situation...kay here it goes...

 

I am a guy and i'm in love with another guy. this is love, i don't feel that it is a crush, i only want to be with him and i can only picture myself with him. I want to be with him (Relationship) but he's straight well i'm not to sure about this he could be bi but he does have a girlfriend. And they seem to have a strong relationship (even though itz only been a month and a half long relationship for them). We are both goin to the same university and we are friends. But not really close friends, its more like a "what's up & see ya" kind of friendship, occasionally we exchange more conversation than that, but very rarely. I have this strong desire to just go up to him and tell him how i feel about him, however i am not "out" if you want to put it like that. I guess everyone thinks i'm just straight, seriously they all think i've had so many girlfriends but i haven't even had one, and niether have i had a boyfriend, so i'm a true virgin...lol...well i think i'm bisexual because i'm still attracted to girls (attracted meaning i find them beautiful and sexy) but sexually i'm only attracted to guys and only want guys. and girls make moves on me all the time but i have a really hard time picturing myself in a relationship, i can only see myself in a gay relationship with the guy that i love. but see the thing thats buggin me is that i can see myself with other guys, but only with those guys sexually...i dont think i need to explain sexually.....just SEXually. and i find that i mainly check out guys and prefer to look at guy over girls...look everyone...i am just confused, i want to know if anyone thinks i should just go up to this guy and tell him that i am in love with him. by doing this...my life will be turned upside down, i mean in every way like...college...family..friends.. everything would be gone, i would have to create a completely new life for myself because everything i know now would be gone forever. what is the best thing to do...let my love for this guy go untold and continue on fantasizing about a relationship with him and admiring him from afar (which is killin me) or tell him and take the risk of losing everything,...will i gain anything by telling him, and i am just scared because of his reaction, what should i do??? i appreciate anything anyone has to say, i can't really explain details because it would be too long of a post but knowin what you know from what i wrote what is ur adivce??? Thank

 

 

dangerouslyinlove

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You like girls, but you can only think about having sex with guys, but can't see yourself in a relationship with a guy. A question that comes to mind is. Do you want him as your boyfriend or do you want a hot night with him or several. You need to sak yourself what you really want and if it's worth it. Are you ready to loose everything and come out for a chance to be with him? If you can't then it's clear.

 

To love from afar is hard, believe me I know. A few years ago I was in the same position as you. He is straight, but didn't have a girl. Now my situation is different. I have a boyfriend. He's wonderful, the most wonderful guy in the world. Only problem he's half way around the globe. So that's a * * * * * but i'll meet him soon for the first time which i'm quite excited about.

 

However, back to you now. As it is now you can't really approach him. Although you can try to build a relationship with him and when you're ready make a move or somethingbut be careful. If he is straight there's a risk in telling him you're in love with him. Most things have a certain risk involved. the main question is, are you willing to take those risks in search of happiness?

 

I hope I've at least been of some help. Post a little more on this forum and then you are able to PM me, or just reply here.

 

Take care

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HEY UT thanx for the reply man! you kinda got my situation except that part about not seeing myself in a relationship with a guy. I can visualize myself in a relationship with another guy. What i was tryin to say is that...I can picture myself in a relationship ONLY with the guy that I am in love with. That is what I want badly. I want this guy to be my boyfriend. But I can also see myself sexually involved with other guys, but that's it, only messin around sexually but nothing past that, nothing like the relationship I'm dreaming of with the guy that i love.

 

And I do like girls. however i look at guys first and i dont want to be too graphic here, but i can only get off on guys (orgasm-wise), girls dont turn me on as much as guys. i've never been with anyone, no girlfriend before and like i said before i'm not "out" so i have never had a boyfriend. I've asked girls out but each and every time, i got rejected, so no luck there.

 

And what you said about if i'm ready to lose everything for a chance to be with him. that's the thing, I want to tell him but i want it to be safe not where i tell him and i get rejected, become exposed as being gay then i lose everything along with our friendship. if i do tell him and he's cool and accepts me then i'd come out. i would lose some things but i would have him, u know. but then i have to ask myself... is he really worth losing everything. because you know this would be my first ever relationship and say it doesn't work out and ends then i would lose the relationship that i sacraficed almost everything in my life for. what do you think about that? would you take the chance?

 

I think you're right on trying to build a relationship with him. We have a friendship but its not a close one. i need to spend more time with him but its difficult because of his work schedule and mine as well, and we dont share any classes either, and i know that whenever he has leisure time he spends it with his girlfriend. can you give me some ideas please?

 

Am i ready to take the risks in the search for happiness? hmmm.. i am willing to sacrafice everything for the kind of love relationship i want with this guy, but i have the fear of becoming exposed in a negative way over me. i think i could take the rejection from him but i dont want that to mess me up by exposing me in bad light, you know how the word that i am gay would spread around and in a negative way. that's what i dont want. HEY i appreciate your response...how do i pm you? hoping to hear back from you. thanx again.

 

dangerouslyinlove

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