Scared, Discouraged

[SoontobeRN]

Hi Everyone...

I've been reading things on here for about 2 months and everone has AMAZING advice. I'm just scared that I'm always going to feel like this. My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago (we didn't date that long, but it was a really good relationship) and he just said that he didn't see it going anywhere...MAN THAT HURT! So for 2 months, I've been trying to move on/get over it and I feel embaressed that I'm not over it yet because we didn't date long. (I feel like a drama queen and I don't know why I'm hanging on still). Everyday seems to be the same UP and DOWN trend of emotions. I will feel good and all it takes is like one small stupid little thing to remind me of him and then I start to over-analyse everything and think of ways to get him back and try and think about what I did wrong, and it's so hard to go through all of this, and I just feel like this isn't ever going to end. Compared to 2 months ago, I feel much better, but maybe it's always going to be like this...maybe this is as good as it's going to get. Maybe I'm just being crazy, I don't know...But I used to think I was a strong person, but seeing as how this isn't getting any better, I'm becoming very discouraged. Just wondering if this is normal....

[melrich]

Nah it will get much better. Where you are now is completely familiar I reckon, most who have had a relationship end have been through this and felt like you do.

 

My tip to you is, in the not too distant future, this whole relationship and break up will be not much more than a small blip in your earthly existence. You just have to put up with a bit more down time.

[NJRon]

I was doing great and had a brief encounter and suffered a minor setback.. but I sprang right back. It's weird how these things work. Nothing abnormal.... you'll flow with it soon... you are a strong person and you will prove it by getting through it... you'll have to wait until the 20/20 hindsight kicks in though... unfortunately to see your improvmeent...

 

Totally normal though.

[SoontobeRN]

Ya....It was hard initially after he broke up with me, but then I got to become OK and I felt good and was going to the gym and going out and felt great again...but then about 1.5 months later, I hit a low point one day and it seems like I've been down ever since...it's gotten a bit better since then, but it's still really hard. I'm still thinking about him 100 times a day (even when I try hard not to think about it, I still do). I see his name everywhere, I hear songs ALL THE TIME and I think about places we've been and it just builds up and hurts and I get depressed...like I said, I just feel like this is the best it's going to get...-UGH I HATE BEING SO DRAMATIC

[Giant]

Ya....It was hard initially after he broke up with me, but then I got to become OK and I felt good and was going to the gym and going out and felt great again...but then about 1.5 months later, I hit a low point one day and it seems like I've been down ever since...it's gotten a bit better since then, but it's still really hard. I'm still thinking about him 100 times a day (even when I try hard not to think about it, I still do). I see his name everywhere, I hear songs ALL THE TIME and I think about places we've been and it just builds up and hurts and I get depressed...like I said, I just feel like this is the best it's going to get...-UGH I HATE BEING SO DRAMATIC

 

You may be experiencing denial, a normal part of the greiving cycle. The greiving cycle is a tedious process, you think you reach acceptance, then BANG, right back to depression. My ex broke up with me a month ago, but I feel much closer to acceptance than I was a week ago. You may feel uncomfortable even seeing a name similar to your ex, I felt the same too. I feel uncomfortable in the same building as my ex, even seeing her first name gives my the chills. It is going to take time, but you will pull yourself through. We are sort of all in the same boat.

[Ipso Fracto Man]

Absolutely normal and all too familiar. Believe me, the day will come when you'll hear his name and you'll smile at how it used to affect you. Meanwhile, just treat yourself right.

[SoontobeRN]

Something weird happened today..I was at work, just sitting there, thinking about him of course...and then ALL OF THE SUDDEN, like a light-switch, I HONESTLY DIDN'T CARE ANYMORE. It was the creepiest thing...I was sad, and then BOOM, I didn't care and I was happy and felt great. That was this afternoon, and I still feel great. I HOPE TO GOD THIS STAYS (FOR A WHILE AT LEAST)...

[blackberry]

I'm sure you already know this, but ups and downs are a part of it. If you do a search on my posting history, I recently posted about a couple of unsettling events between me and my ex, in which I thought I had gained most of it back. Now that I know that there's no chance, it's alot easier for me to move on and let go.

 

Time certainly heals all pains, and it helps you grow up tremendously. Sure, it's a 2 steps forward/1 step back deal, but in the end, you'll always take 1 step forward.

 

It takes alot to convince yourself that this was the right thing for the both of you. But, in the end, you realize that it was. Me, personally, I only want my ex to be happy with whomever/wherever/whatever she wants to be with. I haven't completely moved on yet, but it will happen in time...not because I know she has, but because I know I have to.

 

Good luck, and I hope your "ups" prevail over your "downs."

[SoontobeRN]

Hey Everyone...I guess yesturday was just me realizing I need to move on. I still miss him a lot and would love it all back, but I just guess it was my turning point...I have that hope back but I still do hurt and I don't feel like I "need" him anymore! So I guess we'll see...This is the first time I've had to get over someone so I'm doing it all blind-folded!

[NJRon]

Sounds like you are making some good progress though