mental abuse

[newrosie]

Hi!

 

I am in an abusive relationship. i have met my partner nearly 4 years ago and we had a baby a few months ago. He suffers from bad mental health and my life is increasingly turning into a nightmare. I work full time as he cannot work due to his condition. But he does not do anything in the house ans spends all his time on the pc. we have nothing left to say to each other but he wants to stay with me as i provide everything. he also suffers form agrophobia so he cannot go out of the home. i spend my life working, looking after my child, try to look after the house and this is difficult. i told him i was not happy in our relationship and that i wanted to leave if it was not getting any better and he told me that it was all about me that once i gave birth to our child i have signed a contract to stay with him all my life. he told me to leave without my child or if i was leaving with my child he would kill me. i feel so unhappy and trapped. my mind is so weak i do not recognise myself. i have lost my friends, my identity. i hate him and wish his death this is how bad....

 

Any advice on what i could do...? i am totally lost...

 

thanks

[binky123]

Could he work from home to help you support the house? There are companies where all he needs is a PC.

[binky123]

Also, if he is threatening to kill you, it may be time to go to the police. Is he being treated for his mental health probs? Do you know his doctor? Could you maybe visit that person at lunch or have a phone conversation with that person?

[BornToResist]

Even if he was to work from home, you should not stay with him.

 

It sounds like this situation is serious. Is he capable of doing these things?

 

How extreme is his agoraphobia? If you were to leave him with your child, would he do what it took to find you? Have you been to court to discuss any custody issues?

 

I am worried for you. There are many places all over that will help with battered women or women in your situation.

[AwdreeHpburn]

newrosie - welcome to ENA!

 

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I definitely think you should do what you can to leave this person and seek help from professionals. Police, or whatever. Takes his threats very seriously and tell someone close to you or someone who can do more about it.

 

Sweety, best of luck to you. I hope you find your way out.

[southerngirl]

Hi, and welcome to enotalone!

 

If he is too mentally unstable to work I would hope that first off you never leave him alone with your baby.

 

If someone threatened my life after all that he is doing already, I would LEAVE. Don't tell him your leaving.

 

Just do it. GEt someone safe to go with you to the house and get all of your things.

 

Change any passwords for any financial accounts so that he can not access them. Contact a lawyer. Put security codes on all of the utilities / services that are in your name so that he can not access those either.

 

lets say that you knew that in the yard next door to you there was a vicious dog that would attact anything in its yard. Would you put your child into that yard to 'play' with the dog?

 

I dont think you would. This is what your doing with your child by staying with someone who is like this. Worse than harming you he could harm your baby.

[Aschleigh]

Seek help now. Go to a family member, a shelter, a friend whatever it takes to get out of that situation. You can support yourself and the child. Let go of him.

He is his own respensibility. He might need to be forced to get help. When you and the child are gone he may get the help he needs.

[flower99]

Leave him & get a restraining order against him. Report the threats (I made the mistake of not...but if you will be going to court for custody...that will go against him.)

If you are doing everything for this home & child already,with no support & an abusive man.... why stay? Please don't do it out of fear. Cause he can't come find you & kill you if he has agrophobia but really

 

Do you really want your child growing up to be like him? with him as the main male influence, it's going to get even harder as the years go on. Take the child & run. It will be the thardest thing you've done but he best thing you can do for you & your child.

 

Darling, you are a strong women. If you are on your own you will be able to become everything you wanted to. It will be hard, but it gives you the oppurtunity to find yourself again. And be the best mother you can be. You will be happier & healthier & safe (along with your child). If you stay....it will only get worse. no one will be happy.

[candy604]

what contract did you sign, your not married. But if he is threatening to kill you, you need to tell some authority about it. Go to a counsellor or someone that can best advise you what to do.

 

if he suffers from a bad metal health, can you check him into a mental hospital or get treated with some drugs?

[Mistaken]

Please protect yourself and your child, there is help out there!!! You have to take his threats serious, don't let him know your intentions. Get Help...Get Out...Get on with you life! Material things are worth nothing, save what is precious..Your life,Your child!

[librarychick]

Get out now. Please, if not for your own safety, for the safety of your child.

 

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