newrosie

Hi!!! My relationship with my partner is a bit strange. He suffers from ocd, depression and agrophobia. The relationship is at its end but i cannot leave him, i love him and really want to try to make this relationship going since we have a baby that he loves to bits. I have always been jealous. but my destructive jealousy intervenes when i am stressed. My partner spends all his time on bdsm sites and on porn sites. He is chatting to a woman on it and of course i do not have a clue of what they are telling each other. He does not even want me to know his email address. He keeps talking to me about her and his ex and they are so great and i am so much the opposite!!!!! I told him i did not like it and he told me he would not want to go with htis woman because her personality would not suit him and she was too far. that did upset me a lot because i was expecting i am not going to go off with this woman because i love you and it is just based on a friendly relationship. So here i am with all my mad thoughts and scenarios coming to my head. I work all day and am not at home from 7:50 my am till 6 pm, loads of time to talk to people or having them round the house without me knowing. I go on the site he goes to and try to see more details about that woman and yes she is good looking and she must be very exciting sex wise..... I am fat. I have not lost my baby weight after my pregnancy and my belly has not gone smaller either. I admit it that when i look in the mirror, i am not seeing a pretty sight whatsoever. But he never pays me any attention. nothing i do is good enough. As he told me last night, it is not fair he is putting me up against that woman because she suffers from manic depression and manic people often are very passionate about things when they are in their manic period. He tells me she finds him handsome... But if i talk about one bloke it is a big no no. I use to look on his pc for clues but he just went mad on security and i cannot even go near his room he is so afraid i am going to discover his darkest secrets. I would look for things until i could feel sick. i hate this jealousy. i am trying hard to pretend i do not care but as soon as he mentions her name, i am boiling inside and want to cry. I also knows he does it on purpose to wind me up. I wish he could leave me but when it is close from breaking up i do not want to. Am i mad?

Hi! I am in an abusive relationship. i have met my partner nearly 4 years ago and we had a baby a few months ago. He suffers from bad mental health and my life is increasingly turning into a nightmare. I work full time as he cannot work due to his condition. But he does not do anything in the house ans spends all his time on the pc. we have nothing left to say to each other but he wants to stay with me as i provide everything. he also suffers form agrophobia so he cannot go out of the home. i spend my life working, looking after my child, try to look after the house and this is difficult. i told him i was not happy in our relationship and that i wanted to leave if it was not getting any better and he told me that it was all about me that once i gave birth to our child i have signed a contract to stay with him all my life. he told me to leave without my child or if i was leaving with my child he would kill me. i feel so unhappy and trapped. my mind is so weak i do not recognise myself. i have lost my friends, my identity. i hate him and wish his death this is how bad.... Any advice on what i could do...? i am totally lost... thanks