Rollercoaster of Emotions

[jules12234]

I seem to be a rollercoaster of emotions.

 

Some days I am just fine, really positive, moving on, doing all the right things and then you get a day like today where I am just so sad and feel tearful.

 

I am getting more good than bad and last night I dreamt about the ex.

 

How does everyone cope with these bad days. I just feel I have to ride them out and know that tomorrow will be better, but today it feels like tomorrow is a long way off.

 

I have been split two months - do you think it might be the reality setting in.

 

Jules XX

[joyce1412]

as i told someone else, those good days are just a hint of what's to come in a few months when you're really over it. the bad days won't last, but the good days, when you're feeling over this guy and good about life, WILL last. the frequency of the good days will become greater as time goes on until you're over it for good.

 

in my case, i don't think i was able to feel all the pain of the breakup at once. the pain was more spread out in time--emotional preservation, maybe. however, i was also in denial at first, or i guess you could say i was "bargaining"--meaning i thought my ex was going to come back and focused a lot of my attention on him coming back. that kept me from feeling it all at once.

 

my only real advice is that you really take advantage of those good days. at times i would feel like, "hey wait, i can't be happy right now--my boyfriend is gone, shouldn't i be feeling worse right now? shouldn't i be sad and wallowing in it?" but reach out and grab that happiness whenever you feel it coming in, and push those bad thoughts out as much as possible. you deserve the relief. and, after all, you probably have a lot of good things in your life to appreciate, as many of us likely do as well.

[jules12234]

as i told someone else, those good days are just a hint of what's to come in a few months when you're really over it. the bad days won't last, but the good days, when you're feeling over this guy and good about life, WILL last. the frequency of the good days will become greater as time goes on until you're over it for good.

 

I like that idea - never thought of it that way.

[theproman23]

People recover at different rates from these things. Time defiently heals. Believe me and believe everyone that says that cause we've all been through it and found out time heals. Those gooddays mean you're doing good and are well on youre way to moving on. What you need to do now is have some fun. Go out with some friends, exercise, listen to music, read a book or just watch tv. Whatever makes you happy and can contain is what you should be doing. Soon you'll see that you don't need him. Goodluck.

[jules12234]

I know that time will heal this. God it is awful it is like being hit with a sledgehammer.

 

I have lots to look forward to - going to Portugal on Friday with my oldest friend - my house is being done up - meeting people but today I miss him and he has treated me awfully.

 

The worst thing about this breakup is that the coward never told me it was over - he kept coming around saying he needs to sort things out and now he has disappeared so I have had to finish it in my own head. He has been cruel and cowardish and I miss him - my mother said I had a lucky escape and most days I would agree but today I think how could he do the things he has, we shared a home, built a life together and he has just walked away. I think he is back with his ex-wife but don't know for sure. The break up was a shock - I have thought very hard about it and I do not believe any of the signs were there - maybe a rough few days but nothing to indicate this.

[summerday]

Jules,

My ex has never had courage of telling me it was really over neither. I'm like you, I prefer to hear him saying that, so i don't keep waiting.

 

We broke up a few times before, and everyone time I had to force him to tell me it was over, otherwise he would just keep me think we still have hope.

 

Last night, we talked again. I asked him why he did that. He told me it was hard for him to turn me down because how special i am (LOL), and he just wished by not saying or doing anything to me, I would eventally get the sign and leave.

 

was he being honest or he just wanted keep me around for him ego? I don't know. I guess this is something guys do universally.

[jules12234]

Jules,

My ex has never had courage of telling me it was really over neither. I'm like you, I prefer to hear him saying that, so i don't keep waiting.

 

We broke up a few times before, and everyone time I had to force him to tell me it was over, otherwise he would just keep me think we still have hope.

 

Last night, we talked again. I asked him why he did that. He told me it was hard for him to turn me down because how special i am (LOL), and he just wished by not saying or doing anything to me, I would eventally get the sign and leave.

 

was he being honest or he just wanted keep me around for him ego? I don't know. I guess this is something guys do universally.

 

Summerday - Isn't it the worst - I have been told he loves me, I am special, brillant, doesn't want to lose me, is going to come back for Chapter 2 and then I don't hear anything for two weeks. I then found out that he hadn't paid the bills in the house for 8 months and told him over two weeks ago that I found out and gave him a figure and he has just disappeared.

 

He would have been kinder to me to just say it was over. I think he couldn't do it so he is leaving it for me assume so he doesn't get any grief (he did like an easy life) or I would eventually tell him it over.

 

It just prolongs the agony and gives you false hope and prevents you from getting on.

 

I have worked so hard on accepting it is over and normally I am doing quite well , but I just get these days where - how could he do all the things he has - I never thought him capable of it - thought he was a real nice guy. Today I feel like I have lost my best friend.

[LONESOUL]

Feeling that roller coaster the last couple of days myself...would like the ride to come to a complete stop so I can gather my personal belongings and take small children by the hand while exiting the ride. ***sigh***

[jules12234]

well I hope you can exit the ride soon - I am hoping this is a little day or two event. I feel I am at day 1 again.