A fight gone wrong

[bigheart09]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now, and we finally came to a place where we were talking about the future. We just spent labor day weekend together, and everything was great. He called me at work on Tuesday, and picked a fight with me over the phone. He wouldnt answer my phone calls after he hung up on me. So of course, me being so stubborn and dramatic, I drove over to his place and forced my way into his place. We yelled and he begged me to get out of his place. Two days later, he has ignored my emails and phone calls. We have texted each other, but nothing meaningful. What is going on???? I dont understand how he can ignore me? Of course, I am very upset but I course I cant talk to him. My gut feeling is to return his stuff and get mine back and end the relationship.

[NJRon]

What happened between the weekend and Tuesday that yould cause him to want to pick a fight?

[bigheart09]

Nothing, we last spoke Monday night at 1am and we were joking and laughing.

[NJRon]

That is just bizarre behavior. And he didn't say he wanted to actually break up? I think there is just too much drama here. He may be trying to get you to do the dirty work.

 

Just think about it in general. Is this the type of person you want to be with? If not, then it may be better to move on. However, I for one would be curious as to the sudden change in attitude. If he is unwilling to talk to you about it though, there's not much you can do and have to go with your gut...

[bigheart09]

No I dont want to be with someone who cant communicate and who doesnt care if he hurts me by ignoring me. It is just hard to make a decision if he is not talking to me. Also, I am definitely not doing his dirty work for him and breaking up with him. If he doesnt want to be with me, he needs to be a man and tell me. He is 34 years old, he should be old enough to know better. It is just weird b/c we were definitely talking about the future a lot these past couple of months.

[beaglelover_06]

I think that the both of you should just break up. My ex would not communicate with me either and it bugged the hell out of me. We couldn't even talk about what was bothering each other over the phone but except through email. What a way to have an argument and then later by email. So in otherwords, if he does not communicate with you in a day or two, then think to yourself if you can deal with a person like that in the future. I knew that I could not and decided to end my own relationship with my now ex boyfriend.

[bigheart09]

Well we ended up talking last night, but nothing really was resolved. He is still mad at me for coming to his house and yelling at him and I am still mad at him for ignoring me. One second he is being cold and the next he is calling me sweetie. I know what I need to do, but just love him and i know this is going to be hard.

[beaglelover_06]

Believe me I understand where you are coming from. It was not wise to go to his house though and force your way in but it had already happened and so there is nothing else you can do about it. Relationships go through many arguments but there needs to be a sense of communication between both parties. You just have to see if this type of no communication is frequent everytime you two get into an argument. If so, I can assure you that it will be difficult to talk to him about anything else that may upset him. It is a shame too but a true fact.

 

I wish you luck on your decision.

[Johnathan]

hold on a sec. what exactly did he pick a fight about??

[NJRon]

I'm curtious about that also. I can understand a period of withdrawal after a period of intimacy. It's something that I do. I *don't* understand calling soemone up the next day and actively picking a fight.

[Jayar]

No I dont want to be with someone who cant communicate and who doesnt care if he hurts me by ignoring me. It is just hard to make a decision if he is not talking to me. Also, I am definitely not doing his dirty work for him and breaking up with him. If he doesnt want to be with me, he needs to be a man and tell me. He is 34 years old, he should be old enough to know better. It is just weird b/c we were definitely talking about the future a lot these past couple of months.

 

This doesn't make sense.... If YOU have already decided you don't want to be with him, then YOU break up with him! Don't leave him in control.... Why would it be "dirty work?" If anything, he upset and hurt you, and you should react by telling him to hit the bricks... Why would you wait for him to give you the time of day? Good luck! You deserve better.

[beaglelover_06]

I agree with Jayar that you should be the one to break up with him and not wait for him to do it. You don't like being in that situation, well, YOU should make the announcement that you want to end the relationship. There is nothing wrong with that. Make yourself happy like I had said before..

[bigheart09]

Well, we did end up talking and making up. We had many many hours of conversation about our fight and our relationship. We have a serious lack of communication and we both need to work on it.