Pregnancy: my worst nightmare EVER.

[Baby Carrot]

Literally.

 

I've had nightmares (not dreams, nightmares) where I'm pregnant, I don't know from whom or how far along, but I'm just freaking out and feel like I just want to barf, scream, run hard in the opposite direction and disappear. That's the way I feel about pregnancy since I'm a little girl.

 

Is not in my plans to bring more people to this already overpopulated world, but that's another story.

 

And if for some reason I ended up preg, it'd be a traumatizing experience. (without mentioning that of course, I would not have the product)

 

Is there something funky with me? What's with the nightmares?

 

I'm not saying that it should be "in me" wanting to breed and become a mother, but I'm the exact other extreme, is such a horrifying idea for me.

 

Sheeesh!

 

*BTW, is so unfair not being able to get an histerctomy done because I'm "so young" (23) and I "might regret" -like if gyns could see the future or rule over my body-.

[snowgirl]

Have you ever talked to a therapist about this? It's not that I am suggesting there's something wrong with you, but you seem troubled by your fears, and it seems to be hurting you.

Might help, can't hurt.

[hazlcha]

That's really a powerful message you wrote. I think that your strong feelings are calling for attention, and it will serve you well to explore where they come from. So many women who can't want nothing more than to be pregnant, and others who feel as you do about world overpopulation do not.

 

I can't help but feeling that your desire comes more from a personal place rather than an ideological one. If you can take a step away from yourself, perhaps discuss with a couselor/therapist, and uncover what lies beneath this.

 

I am not discussing the pregnancy issue at all here. That's a matter of personal choice. I'm responding to the intensity of your dreams and feelings, and suggesting that here's a golden opportunity to get to know yourself better.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Maybe I'm wrong, but I wasn't aware that gyns owned a woman or that they could go "oh well, because you're not older, you don't know what you want for your life and thereforeeee you shouldn't control what happens to your reproductive organs."

 

I think the nightmares are just an extension of your waking feelings.

[Baby Carrot]

SNOWGIRL:

Not really, I think I have way bigger issues LOL. I'm not suffering about it, I just think that kind of aversion is kind of funky. And those dreams bug me!

 

HAZLCHA:

Ur right, there must be something strong about those messages my subconscient is producing. Wish I knew what is it. Unfortunately, therapy is not something I can afford right now, specially for analyzing something that is not really affecting my overall well being. It'd be interesting to find out some day though.

 

BROKENWINGEDFAIRY:

Maybe u were not aware, and I know no doctor has control over what I decide to do with my body, but I swear, that's the answer I've got from gyns. I may want to do whatever with my organs, but since they are the ones that operate, they have the last word. Is like, in order to get an histerectomy done, you are supposed to have offspring already, so the justification is "OK, I already popped out a couple of babies to the world, now I want the little factory to be dismatled please". Ridiculous. But yes, they are THAT judgemental.

[Meow18]

A lot of times, if I worried about something during the day, I'll have dreams about it that night.

 

A lot of times we also dream about our fears. It's always so weird because it seems so real.

 

But in my opinion, it's nothing more than just a dream. Don't let it get to you too much or it will just make you crazy!

[Dako]

I didn't want kids since I was 16. When I was about 25, I got a vasectomy from Planned Parenthood. They interviewed me twice to assure my understanding. I'm 53 and have never had a minute of regret.

I'm not saying sterilization is right for everyone, but you have a right to decide for yourself. In my case, the fact I was young and childless made it a tough sell, but persistance paid off.

 

BTW, I'm not up on the latest BC, but a hysterctomy removes your organs, but a tubal ligation doesn't. It may even be reversed.

[southerngirl]

Im a firm believer that if you dont want children dont have them.

 

I dont think theres anything at all wrong with you. Some people just dont want kids, arent going to have kids and thats that.

 

I know of the frustration with the age factor.. I had a friend that wanted to have her tubes tied and she was told that unless she had 3 kids and/or was 25 they just wouldnt do it... She now has kids and though she does the best she could do she also didnt quite plan them. Go figure..

 

As far has the reaccuring dreams maybe you should talk to some type of therapist about it. Not about forcing yourself to want kids, thats a personal choice.. But about if there is something underneath all that causing these fears, so that you can have peace with it.

 

Some important people in my life that never had kids.... an aunt and uncle of mine... my sister in law... a cousin of mine...... one of my brothers.. 'breeding' as you put it isnt for everyone!=)

[InaneCathode]

Well, a doctor doesnt own anyone, but they have such incredible power i don't see anything wrong with being responsible with it.

[agent1607307371]

Maybe I'm wrong, but I wasn't aware that gyns owned a woman or that they could go "oh well, because you're not older, you don't know what you want for your life and thereforeeee you shouldn't control what happens to your reproductive organs."

 

 

BrokenWingedFaery, speaking to some American women I have found it to be the case that, unless a woman has a medical issue that necessitates it, she has to fight incredibly hard to be sterilised.

 

Baby Carrot, I would speak with a therapist about these feelings because they are excessively strong (to the point of physical nausea) and are affecting your sleep.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I'm outraged...3 kids or 25?! Gawd. As if there aren't enough people as it is.

[InaneCathode]

It's worth mentioning that sterilization because of a knee jerk reaction to recurring nightmares isnt a rational act in the eyes of many, doctors especially.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

If you read her post, you would know that she's felt this way since she was 16. It's not a knee-jerk reaction to the nightmares.

[southerngirl]

Sometimes your clock doesnt start clicking till late.. One of my brothers swore he would neverhave kids... Then he met the right woman and now they have been married 10 years this coming Jan and have a housefull of kids.. He also turns 35 this coming year.

 

So, I guess the doctors dont want someone to do something that very well could be non reversible.

[agent1607307371]

Sometimes your clock doesnt start clicking till late.. One of my brothers swore he would neverhave kids... Then he met the right woman and now they have been married 10 years this coming Jan and have a housefull of kids.. He also turns 35 this coming year.

 

So, I guess the doctors dont want someone to do something that very well could be non reversible.

 

But they'll do it to men.

 

Baby Carrot should have full control over her reproductive systems.

 

The kind of reaction she has to the thought is not a case of her biological clock ticking late.

[southerngirl]

Oh yeah, I agree.. As I said before if she doesnt want kids she shouldnt have them. Theres nothing wrong with that to me. Its a personal choice.

 

I can see though why a doctor may feel the way they do about performing the surgery.

[InaneCathode]

If you read her post, you would know that she's felt this way since she was 16. It's not a knee-jerk reaction to the nightmares.

 

I did read her post, and yes i know she's felt that way since she was 16. Concidering that she's never talked to a psychotherapist about it, or merely a counseler, i think it's perfectly reasonable to say that permanent sterilization is a knee jerk reaction concidering she'll have to live with it the rest of her life.

 

In easier terms, she has a 'phobia' of being pregnant. How in the world would the physical act of sterilization eliminate that fear? That's like saying i shouldnt be afraid of flying if i have a parachute on. Yes it's reasonable to say that i'm in no real danger, but does that aliviate the deep rooted fears i have?

[InaneCathode]

But they'll do it to men.

 

Baby Carrot should have full control over her reproductive systems.

 

The kind of reaction she has to the thought is not a case of her biological clock ticking late.

 

It might be because sterilizing a male is easily and more successfully reversable. Not to dismiss any other social/psychological reasons.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I don't think it qualifies as a knee jerk reaction. If she had a nightmare, and ran to the docs the next morning going "PLEASE STERILIZE ME!", I'd consider it a knee jerk reaction.

[Baby Carrot]

DACKO:

That's awesome!

 

AGENT:

The nausea and all the drama is inside my dream, not in reality, and my sleep is not affected, just bugged a little

 

INANE CATHODE:

Woah, calm down buddy. Knee jerk reaction? I never implied I wanna be sterilized because of the nightmares... I do have some kind of phobia, but I do not think an histerctomy is the solution. Histerectomy is my personal contribution to stop the overpopulation.

 

BROKENWINGEDFAERY:

I think ur mistaken... DACKO is the one that made that decision SINCE HE WAS 16. My nightmares have been there since MY CHILDHOOD.

 

SOUTHERNGIRL:

With all due respect, that clicking-clock "theory" is just lame for me. This is an individual and rational decision... I'm not a slave of animal breeding instincts. Any doctor that thinks like that is just a caveman.

[southerngirl]

Yeah, in both my posts I said its a personal choice to have or not to have children. ....... Maybe you should read my posts again, in fact I told you do not have kids if you really dont want them.

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Geez, that's what I get for reading/posting when I'm exhausted. Sorry.

[friscodj]

Hey Baby_Carrot-

 

How old are you?

 

And have you had experiences in your past that you feel may have brought these dreams/ideas on?

[Relationship Coach]

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children. I really don't think your problem is unique for whatever reason you have. I know several women who for onre reason or another do not want to have kids.

 

RC

[InaneCathode]

Carrot that's a totally valid reason to get sterilised. For whatever reason i came away from your post with the idea that you wanted to get sterilized to stop your phobia.

Now, on to the pretend scenario:

Even if she's been having nightmares for 40 years, without seeing a professional who deals with such things, going straight to a doctor is still a knee jerk reaction.

 

Overpopulation!

Must. Resist. Debating. Zero growth!