Going Great...And Then She Puked in My Car

[guy0221]

Well, I've started threads in Breaking Up, Getting Back Together, and now Healing.

 

Basically, I told my exgf of 1 1/2 years that i could not have her in my life anymore. This was 2 weeks ago. She had cheated on me with another girl and lied to me about it. She is now "confused" and needs to find out what is best for her. I waited for around 1 month and couldn't take it anymore. Now we are on NC and it is helping me but...

 

I started seeing another girl about a week ago. She was very fun and VERY different from my ex, which i thought was a good thing. Anyway, she got real drunk this weekend and made a fool of herself around my friends...then she puked in my car...MY BRAND NEW CAR!

 

THis completely turned me off...I could just tell that she was not my type at all. I need to be looking for something meaningful at this time of my life...I'm ready to settle down a bit and don't want to be with someone that is still in their "party" years. So now I haven't talked to her in a couple days. It really makes me miss my ex. She was exactly the type of girl I am attracted to...mentally and physically.

 

I'm just disheartened now that I have apparently burned bridges with the ex. I would really like to find someone special like that again...i'm afraid it's not going to happen.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[chattymcchatterson]

Hang in there. We often have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find the good ones. Arent you glad it was the pukey one who was just transitional?

[7CardStud]

I think what you did with your ex is for the best. I had a girl once that did that to me... It isn't fair to you that you have to wait for her if she REALLY wants to be with you.

 

You'll find a girl that wants you and respects you (and your car)

[guy0221]

You know what really stinks (literally)? Every time I get in the car, the vomit smell overpowers. I can't get it out! Worse though, is that it reminds me of the situation I am in. I really thought I had found the girl for me (pre pukey girl).

 

I was convinced that I would marry her and my life would be complete and wonderful. I wish I could find the faith that I will find that feeling again someday.

[Lil-un]

Hahaha sounds like something I would do!

 

Poor girl... I bet she is really embarresed... If it has really put you off then so be. But you shouldent hold it against her/ tell all your mates etc.... I bet she feels really bad. Just put it behing you.... you can always clean a car mayte, but its a bit harder to clear your conscience

[Lady Bugg]

UGH........that's awful.

Did she apologize for puking in your car? Did she help clean it out??

Acckkkk. How embarrassing.....for her I mean.

 

I can understand you being upset though. I would be....

Yeah..at least "pukey" was a trasitional girl. Better to find out now than later.

[Baby Carrot]

May I ask why are you CRAVING to be in a relationship, and to find "the one"?

 

Is like... you're going from girl to girl, everything is wonderful until something disenchanting (cheating, pucking) happens and pops off the bubble of fantasy you created with this formerly perfect match.

 

IMO, getting crapfaced in one party until puking is not as bad as deliberately cheating and lying about it.

 

Are you sure this puking incident can qualify this other girl as "major party animal in her party years"? Or it was just an isolated incident?

 

I know, barfing is a major turn off... but ur not dating a barbie doll... u know, we're all humans after all, we eat, crap, make mistakes and puke sometimes. Is really not THAT bad. She really doesn't worth it just because of that?

[guy0221]

Are you sure this puking incident can qualify this other girl as "major party animal in her party years"? Or it was just an isolated incident?

 

She is 4 years younger than me. I didn't want to come off like I was shallow and the puking turned me off. It didn't help but she is definitely still in party mode. I just feel like I'm getting older and want to find someone to settle down with. I've always dated younger girls so maybe that is the key here.

 

I thought it was actually pretty funny and we've laughed about it since.

 

We are just in 2 different places right now.

 

And yes, I'd rather have a puker than a cheater.

[southerngirl]

I had a friend that threw up in my car once. I didnt hate her for it.

 

Were you not drinking with her to get her intoxicated?

 

Is this the only thing that she ever did to upset you?

 

Its gross and all but that seems shallow to me. Do you expect to find a perfect woman out there? She doesnt exist. There will be a fault with all...

[southerngirl]

Okay so maybe she parties, but if your just getting to know her I dont think you should just write her off because of that..... you could be missing out on a good thing without giving her a chance.... What IF you keep seeing her and decide you really really care? This could be something you laugh about years from now. Im sure it was embarrising for her

[guy0221]

Ya, it's not just the puking.

 

I can't get a word in with her...she's always talking. I've become less physically attracted to her...i don't know why. Plus, she is in school right now and plans to move abroad when she is done.

 

I can't help but compare her to the "pre-cheating, sexual orientation confused" exgf.

 

It's going to be a while before I could care about anybody again anyways I'm afraid.

[southerngirl]

Maybe you should try being single for a while. No girls for even a year.. Try to heal from the loss of your last relationship before starting anything new with someone else. You could end up hurting herself or the girl if you arent ready.

 

It sounds like you arent ready for a relationship anyways. I think if you were truly ready, you wouldnt be constantly comparing the new to the old.

[Siriana]

Try to be single for a while. You're still not over your past relationship and you're not ready to love someone so soon. Even if you find a girl that is your match right now you will not be able to recognize her because you're still not "cool" about your previous relationship.

 

And the reason you missed your ex was because you felt lonely at the time. I mean, having 22 year old girl drunk in a car so drunk that she's puking is definitely something that might trigger the feeling you're missing something out. Like something more meaningfull.

 

You're right you could try dating (after some time) more mature girls.

 

And it is obviously you're not into this girl so why wasting her time.

[Baby Carrot]

So now is not the pucking, is the talking. And the lack of attraction... and...

 

Ur trying to force things, why are you craving to be with someone?

 

Face it, maybe any of those 2 girls are for you. Big deal... there are thousands out there...

 

Would it hurt to be single for a while, so you can heal, get over this, stop comparing and get yourself together instead trying this girl or other to accomplish all ur expectations?

[guy0221]

I'm not sure why I'm craving to be with someone.

 

I guess I am just feeling like I'm getting older and am ready to settle down in my life. I'm sick of going to the bars, meeting dumb girls, getting drunk and then doing the same thing over again the next weekend.

 

I thought the exgf was going to be the one for me...I was wrong and now I'm having trouble seeking out where to go from here.

[Baby Carrot]

Settle down as in.... becoming a family guy, with wife, kids, dog, picket fence, big mortgage and all that?

 

If ur truly sick of going to the bars and all that story, well just stop doing that and do something different!

 

IMO life is not only doing that in order to get someone you can finally settle down with... u know, if you find that person, then is a plus, but it can't possibly be your main goal...

 

Probably you're having trouble figuring out where to go now... but I think ur letting yourself believe that as soon as you find that person to settle down with, everything in your life is gonna fall into place immediately.

 

My advice... figure out what you really want to do with your life, having in mind that getting into a serious commited relationship is not the answer to your problems. If you meet someone in the process, great, if you don't, keep yourself busy with something fulfilling!

[finewhine]

I just started dating again after my breakup (just posted about it, in fact) and I have to chime in. Just get rid of this one and date around a bit more. Enjoy it while it lasts. You'll find someone eventually. Don't force anything. That's the beauty of dating - you have NO IDEA where it will lead! How liberating! You don't have to get discouraged - dates are a dime a dozen. If it ain't working, don't get discouraged and move on to the next one.

[Siriana]

Well, you are not going to meet someone who is going to be the one for you till you're ready. This is mine philosophy. It helps you not to force things. Live your life, work on yourself, and when you're preocupied and not thinking about love everything will fall on it's place. Don't be impatient.