Is this a mid-life crisis or depression?

[larrya5440]

Hi

 

I'm a fairly attractive guy who is 39, never married, and lately, I've just been in a funk of a mood lately.

 

I'm tired all the time, and just can't seem to find any motivation to go out with friends, or do anything. I used to work out 3 times a week, and now I'll go weeks without working out. I also have been feeling sad lately. Sometimes like I want to cry.

 

I have 2 aging parents, one lives in an assisted living facility. And I've had a whole summer of health issues that they've both been dealing with, and I'm the only sibling in the area where all this responsibility falls upon. I feel my like my life is not going the way I want it to. By this point, I had hoped to be married with children, with my own family. But now I struggle to see my aging parents health deteriorate, and in a way I feel my like I'm losing a piece of myself. But without a future to look toward with my own kids, wife, etc.

 

I try to date, but it's hard to find the time and energy, and it seems like all the women that I'm interested in, are not interested in me, and vice versa. Maybe I'm destined not to find someone special...I don't know.

 

Recently I've started having flash-backs, I guess you can say, to different times in my life. Nothing traumatic, or particularly enjoyable moments, but just different times in college, or different jobs I've had in my career, or when I was traveling in different places. And I look back, and wishing I knew then what I know now (hindsight is 20/20, I know). I know we all do that, but it's been happening more and more lately.

 

Anyways, I guess I just need a place to vent...I don't think this is a depression, but maybe like a mid-life crisis. But I also think I may be a little young for that.

 

I don't know...any thoughts?

 

Larry

[puppy]

List all your problems down and work them out one by one. In this way, it will built your confidence.

 

Good luck.

[talo]

Welcome to enot Larry.

I would say that you are 'adjusting' to 'where you are in life'. Your parents health issues have perhaps bought it home to you that life does not go on for ever. I have a 92 year old friend whose favourite saying is "adjust adjust adjust", and she has had to do a fair bit of adjusting in her life, as we all do.

[larrya5440]

Hi

 

I guess that's what life is all about is "changes". And adapting and dealing with them. I guess when your life is changing into something that you didn't expect, or anticipate, then your dreams become unfulfilled. Maybe that's what I'm struggling with right now. I just wish I was coping with it better.

 

Larry

[talo]

Your guesses look pretty spot on Larry. I offer that I have found that the less I expect or anticipate, the more I realise that I am 'living the dream'; that the dream is actual; that the dream is being fulfilled moment to moment. This 'being fulfilled' is not a being that is (a) struggling/coping; (it is as if) there is nothing (else) to struggle or cope (with); this is actual being.