Can a parent ever really trust anyone?

[always waiting]

Can a parent ever really trust anyone with their child?

 

I have been in a relationship that start off as an online friendship and has grown after meeting in preson to a very loving and happy relationship. We are talking about getting married and him possibly adopting my daughter, her father isnt in her life and hasnt ever really been.

When we even talk about it now it sounds like a everything is fine and good. She loves him and he loves her.I have never seen anything that would cause me to think anything bad about him. And its not just him. I have a hard time trusting men around my duaghter, any men.. my father her uncles anyone. I work with victims of abuse and i myself was sexualy abused by a stepbrother for most of my early childhood,he is no longer alive. I know that victims are more likely to get into relationships that put there child at a greater danger then women who have not been victims.

I so love this person, and again he has never done or said or given me any reason to feel this way, but Im so scared of putting my daughter in danger. I feel like i can not keep my heart closed off to ppl for the rest of my life but I could never forgive myself if anything ever happened. Im worried that my fear and misstrust of ppl will start to hurt relationships with the men in my life, and could keep a positive male from being part of her life because im too scared to trust.

 

Can you ever really trust anyone with your child?

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Yes, you can. It's possible to be both careful and trusting.

 

If something does happen to your daughter, it's not your fault. Sometimes things just happen. You can help ease the severity of any experience by listening to her and believing her. Beyond being vigilant and careful and listening to her, you can't do much.

[ImThatGirl]

I suffer from worry that my boyfriend could change his mind and constantly feel that my children and I are at emotional risk. It's different than your worries.

 

I'd say that in either case, at some point, we HAVE to trust unless we can honestly live our life completely sheltered and choose to miss out on positive opportunities. Have you thought about seeking out counseling to help you with this? It's nice to live life without worrying but ultimately, if we don't deal with how to deal with it, it can slam us in the face and we could run away from the risk and opportunity.

 

It sounds like you have found a wonderful man and male figure for your daughter. I hope you can work through this. You deserve to be completely happy!