why can't they butt out?

[Dgirllamius]

I've posted about this before and it seems to be getting worse and worse.

 

Basically, I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months now though we are in a long distance relationship...however we do try as hard as we can to see each other and thats usually every fortnight.

 

Everything is fine when we are together, in fact things are fantastic. I am never happier when I am with him but there is one thing that bugs me about him...HIS PARENTS!

 

We only have so many means on communication, and I guess that we are lucky to sometimes have it. We talk via text messages, msn, on xbox live and on the phone. I guess you could say we could be blessed in the communication department because we are always talking - theres never a dull moment until his stupid parents butt in.

 

It started a few days ago. I was talking to my boyfriend on my xbox (we do this because we find that we don't hog the internet so others can't use it and we don't hog the phone either so we thought that this would be the easiest option, plus we like to geek it up on Halo...anyway....) the other night and we were on it till 5am. We were talking about various stuff, like what we're going to be doing in the future and stuff like that.

 

Then his dad has to butt in and start ranting and raving about how he shouldn't have been on his xbox at such a silly time. I would completely understand if he was 12 years old but seeing as he is 19, I'm sure he is old enough to make his own decisions, right? My parents don't moan at me for staying online into the early hours of the morning and I try and keep quiet when I do - just to be considerate and so does he. We usually talk in whispers if we are talking at such a rediculous time.

 

So...he's 19 and I am 21 and we are being treated like 12 year olds. They take away his ethernet cable so he can't go on xbox and they lock the door to the room where the computer is. Isn't that the sort of thing you do if you have a CHILD - take their things as a punishment? It's the sort of thing you do if they are 12 say, but not when you're 19 and old enough to make up your own mind.

 

So I'm kind of stumped. I love my boyfriend to death and I would do anything for him but I feel that our relationship is going to fail because of his parents. I don't want our relationship to fail because I believe I have found someone I can love and trust, unlike any of my previous boyfriends. I just can't go on knowing that I might not be able to talk to him for days just because his parents are being selfish.

 

What can one do?

[T-Rell]

Yes, his parents are definitely in the wrong the way that they treat him and how they don't respect his relationship. However, I don't think that worrying about your relationship because of their involvement is necessary. What you have with him sounds like the real deal, so even though this is an extra obstacle in your relationship, don't worry about it so much.

 

Maybe next time you guys get to hang out together, take his parents out to dinner or send his mom flowers and his dad some cigars. I think it would be worth it in this sitiuation to bribe the parents to the point where they think positively of you, even if it is for the wrong reasons....it's worth a shot. Hope this helps,

T-Rell

[southerngirl]

Well, did he have to go to school or work the next morning? Was he supposed to be looking for a job?

 

Maybe his parents want him to be responsible. However, I agree that treating him like that is going a bit overboard.

[n83]

I agree with southerngirl, there may be more to the story ... he might be sleeping all day to recover from your all-nighters, and his personal/work/family life may be suffering as a result.. either way if he wants to be treated like an adult, he should act like one too, ie. bringing this up with his parents in an adult, mature way

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I really feel for you. My recent ex broke up with me because his parents are not approving of our relationship.

 

Yes, it is unreasonable of his parents. However, there is always another ways of communications like emails, skype, phone, letters, and etc. So don't give up the relationship so easily. Both of you have to fight for it. It would be a hard long road. Good luck.

[Momene]

Well if my daughter was doing this and had school the next day, yes, I'd be angry with her. If she had a career job or even a casual job and rung in "sick" the next day because she's been talking to her boyfriend all night, I wouldn't be too happy and if my wife found out first ....!!

 

I'll also say that many (most??) 19 year old boys aren't really that grown up and still need a lot of parenting. Girls are a bit better but still have a lot to learn.

[mck2006]

That's too bad that his parents don't respect his decisions. However, I've always thought if a person is still living with his/hers parents, they should still have to follow the rules of the house. If those rules don't suit, he can move out, is this an option?

[Momene]

That's too bad that his parents don't respect his decisions. However, I've always thought if a person is still living with his/hers parents, they should still have to follow the rules of the house. If those rules don't suit, he can move out, is this an option?

 

Agreed. One of my daughter's friends has left her mum and stepdad and gone to live with her dad.