we just broke up and we keep bumping into eachother

[kahlua07]

My bf of 1 yr and 3 months broke up wiht me over a week ago, its' really hard bc i know what went wrong.. my insecurities made me question him way too much when he has been nothing but loyal and good to me. I gave him a hard time for nothing a lot of times and I realize that now... I just wish we could go back to our happy state bc we connect on so many levels and I have so much fun with him! I know he loves me and cares about me, and I feel the same way. I want to give him his time and space like he asked for to let him clear his head and figure out what he's missing. There's way too much at stake. Trouble is, he lives down the street, we are both business students so we bump into each other all the time at the business lab and other areas, and have so many of the same interests that i know we'll bump into each other at the gym and are even set up to take a class together Fall term. I hope things work out by then but I know thats not a healthy attitude and I need to move on meanwhile, bc if it's meant to be it will be. Its been fine since I dont bring up the relationsihp when I bump into him...... but his bday is also this saturday... should i still give him his present that I got him a whlie ago? How do I play it cool and what can I do to not be so available?

[sabena]

Hello..I understand completely what you are going through. When my bf broke up with me it was his birthday a week later, I had bought him lots of things, but the only thing that I did give him was a simple card with simple words that a kind person from here helped me write.

 

My giving him presents and stuff he may feel a little trapped and pressured, and even though you won't be giving them to him to make him feel that way, men are strange folk and will take it that you are pressurising him.

 

Playing it cool is hard, but try to have your friends about you and tell them what you are going to do, so that they can distract you when you see him. Being not so available is easy, make yourself unavailable by seeing more of your friends, going new clubs and going to the gym at a time when you know he won't be there.

 

Apart from sending him a simple birthday card, nothing to romantic on the wording just leave all contact with him and if he wants you back he will contact you. Let him chase you for a change. You are a strong person, you can do it!

[Genesis]

I did nothing for my ex's birthday, I was so mad at him for many reasons.

 

I did not give him a card or a present or even acknowledge that is was his birthday at all!

 

Well I had reasons to not talk to him. He is actively pursuing me now.

 

I guess a simple card will do nothing more.

 

When you start to figure out his schedule, just go to the gym at a different time.

 

When classes start this fall sit in the front of the room so you can not see him, he will have to look at you b/c he will be sitting behind you.

 

Good Luck.

[kahlua07]

I'll see how I feel on that day, whether to give him his present or not... I wouldn't feel right keeping it bc it's personalized for him and I have no idea where the receipt is. I think I can give it to him in a calm mature way, and make it fast. It will hopefully come accross as a nice gesture and not pressure. Also, I tried working out at a different time, 6pm instead of 4 or 5pm when he usually goes bc 6pm works for my schedule and the gym closes at 8pm during the summer. Even when I did this, he was just leaving the gym when I got in and he seemed happy to see me. I was like "oh boy", even though I want to be with him again, but not if he's still not ready to talk to me about anything. I just talked to him casually as usual and we updated each other... we hugged... we still love each other and care.... it's so obvious. but i guess its only been less than 2 wks since the break and Im staying strong. I'm acting really cool... but in reality I miss him and it hurts. *sigh* what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!