Clear n cut update

[TramatizedSoul]

Well its been a little while since I've attempted to detox myself from my ex whom I can't seem to let go of emotionally so i tried this and I felt positive at first but after havin dreams about him and cravings just to speak to him I'm slowly starting to lose faith and am starting to think this isn't working for me...thanks but I guess I have to let good ole time cure me....if anyone has any fast ideas please help I can't continue feeling this way why am I still emotionally attached to someone who has clearly moved on from me?

[bluegal79]

I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time.

 

It hurts terribly when people who we have loved so much can forget about us so quickly while we are left struggling to heal.

 

Have you talked to a counselor or therapist?

 

(((Hugs)))

[kadvati79]

I'm going to use an analogy here, its 3am, so I hope it works lol...

 

Lets imagine your right leg is your ex, and got crushed and destroyed in an accident. If you leave the leg as it is, its going to die and rot - slowly posioning your body. If you amputate it yourself, sure, its going to hurt like hell but after that you will be free of the burden.

 

I think a traumatic breakup is much like that. You need to sever this man from your life, but to do that means to face a very acute pain in the short-term. You need a couple of months to build up that kind of strength, or at least I did, so its best to medicate yourself, insulate yourself, and just make it through the first few months as best as you can. After that, there comes a time when you literally must sever your ex from your life.

 

For me, it was changing all my contact details. I made a situation where even if he wanted to contact me, he wouldn't be able too. It hurt. It hurt ALOT. It still does in a little way. But it gave me a future, one that I could control. I got my life back, and as the pain of the severance slowly died down i realised it was a life I wanted. When I was severing him from my life, there were many times I wanted to reconnect. I almost did once, during a brief period of contact. In fact, I had a failed attempt at severing him before I actually went through with it properly.

 

I want to make one thing clear that I believe strongly:

 

Time alone does not mend a broken heart... it requires a good measure of action

 

Time provides you insulation from the pain, it dulls things down a bit. But if you leave the healing to time alone, it will flare up at the slightest whim. What you need to do is grow. Figure out what you need to end up with your life back.