PRSOV Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 This random though just came into my head, so I penned down this poem... It's pretty rough but I would like to hear what you think of it. Two less pennies and I would drop, Two more pennies and you would stop. Two less phone calls I would have blown, Two more phone calls and you would have flown. Two less days and I would smoke, Two more days and you would prevoke. Two less messages and I would sigh, Two more messages and you would cry. Two less cities and I would barf, Two more cities and you would laugh. Two less scares and I would ponder Two more scares and you would wonder. Two less dates and I would think Two more dates and you would besink. Two less thoughts and I would see Two more thoughts and you would flee. Two less drinks and I would tremble, Two more drinks and you would assemble. Two less eyes I would know, Two more eyes you wouldn't show. Four less years and I would have freedom, Four less years and you wouldn't be broken. © MN 2006. Link to comment
brando Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 sometimes repetition works real well, and other times it doesn't. Two less Two more. may be Too much for a short poem like this one. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Thumbs up, that does makes sense!!!!!!! Link to comment
rose2summer Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 PRSOV, I really liked the poem, It seems to contain deep embedded meaning in it, Very well done! I saw part of your signature is in Spanish, Do you speak Spanish? Cheers! Rose Link to comment
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