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disappointed...need positive thoughts


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I just started a long distance relationship, and even though the last time I saw him was Monday I still miss him like crazy. I thought he'd be able to come see me labor day weekend, but it turns out he got a lot of work hours and won't be able to make it. He can't ask for the weekend off because he has to ask for days off for the High Holy days. I'll be going home for one of the holidays, but it's not until the end of September and we can basically only see each other on Friday. His work schedule is going to be like this until October...so it's going to be really hard.

 

I'm not really sure what I'm asking...I'm just generally upset at the situation (not at him) because I was looking forward to seeing him labor day weekend. Now it's going to be a really long time before we have any quality time together. Any encouraging words from other people who have had to wait a long time to see their boyfriend/girlfriends?

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I was in a long distance relationship for 1 1/2 years...and we had some long stretches in there without seeing each other. I don't know how encouraging this is going to be, but in my opinion and my experience, if you successfully handle a long period of separation -- and when you see each other, you still have the same level of chemistry, love, trust, and communication -- it means you've got something special. And being restricted to communicating over the phone or online really brings the focus to the intellectual and emotional aspects of the relationship, which often get glazed over by sheer physical attraction.

 

You should browse through some other threads for ideas on how to keep your connection strong despite the distance. People have come up with great suggestions!

 

Oh. Webcams can work magic, lol.

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Hahaha yea I've gotten the webcam suggestion. Might get him one for a random present

 

I think I'm even more frustrated because we just started dating. We've been friends for almost 4 years, so actually being around each other and acting like a couple was new and I love it. Even though I love talking to him on the phone, I feel like I didn't get enough time to really be around him. But tonight was a good sign because when we first talked I was upset when I got off the phone, but then we talked again later and just hearing from him cheered me up even though nothing changed in that regard. You're right though...if everything is as just as great when we see each other next, it'll be encouraging. Thanks

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My boyfriend and I had a continuous string of long distance relationships going on for years, seeing each other once every 1 to 2 monthes since we sometimes lived almost accross the country from each other. We tried breaking up, but missed each other too much and we tried being open to dating other people but no one else seemed quite as good, so we kept on calling and webcaming. And though it seems long and frustrating (but sometimes wonderful because it was so great when we did see each other), I will say, if your relationship survives the rockyness of a long distance relationship test, then maybe you guys are meant to be. I know someone who was always together with a guy, got engaged, had a long distance engagement, and it broke apart within months. I'd rather have my situation...the rocky, but longing start----and now a happy engagement =D because he misses me too much.

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We managed to stay together 4 yrs. We did do weekends thought and most holidays. In between we were talking everyday.

Email, ecards

Phone calls

Webcam, sending pics, videos

Mic

 

Webcam & mic is a great idea! sometimes we would just set it to view all day. Not that we'd sit in front of it all day long...but he could see me making dinner..or just running around the house doing my thing. With the mic I'd just hear him say things and I'd come to the pc and chat awhile with him.

Sometimes we'd just be on the phone and watch the same TV show... lol talk during commercials.

Somehow it just felt like we were just a bit closer.

 

Isn't it just agonizing at times when you can't be together????

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It really is agonizing. What was making it OK was seeing him labor day weekend...so now I'm just having such a hard time. Plus we don't have a lot of time to talk. He's already so busy with school and work and his social life that we maybe talk 10 minutes a day. Yesterday we talked for maybe one minute and I haven't talked to him today yet. I'm hoping we'll be able to find more time to talk on the phone once we settle into a schedule. This week I don't have class until Thursday so I'm going to work on putting together a care package for him. I'm getting all stupid and worrying that he'll lose interest since he's so busy and won't have time to keep this up....I just have to stop thinking like that.

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Relax, you know everything is going to be fine. I remember when my boyfriend moved... it took three weeks for me to be "ok". Now I no longer cry when I get off the phone, or when someone asks about him etc. It takes time to adjust, but I am sure you two are going to be fine.

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Thanks everyone I'm definitely going to use some of those suggestions to help make this work and I'm trying really hard to stay positive. We haven't talked much at all this weekend...but I'm hoping that during the week it'll be better since he won't be going out as much.

 

It's funny because when I started school here last year I was in another LDR and I didn't miss him at all. It was a horrible relationship and we broke up shortly after I got here, but we dated for 2 years. I've been with this guy for a few weeks and I can't stand to be away from him. I'm taking this as a good sign

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