Wanting to talk more

[Sean]

I've been in a cyber relationship with this girl for a year now, and we don't talk everyday, about once a week or every other week stuff like that. At first I was fine with it, because well she'd probably want some time to herself etc. However, a year later and it's now getting on my nerve because I thought that by now we would be talking more. We've both made plans to meet one another, tell each other that we love each other etc. We talk on the phone etc. She's not in college, and don't have a job, so I dunno why we're not talking like at least every other day. I know she loves me, and cares about me, I just wish we would talk more now that the relationship is more serious.

[rose2summer]

If you are serious, why are you talking once a week to once every other week, that doesn't seem so serious, but rather casual. Have you tried talking to her about it? She isn't busy with school/work, so I am not sure of the excuse to not talk to you as much. Are you sure that she is really in love with you. Actions speak louder than words, she may say she is, but she needs to show it through her actions.

[Sean]

If you are serious, why are you talking once a week to once every other week, that doesn't seem so serious, but rather casual. Have you tried talking to her about it? She isn't busy with school/work, so I am not sure of the excuse to not talk to you as much. Are you sure that she is really in love with you. Actions speak louder than words, she may say she is, but she needs to show it through her actions.

 

Yea, I have tried, but we ended up fighting and she accused me of treating her like * * * *. Then she brings up the fact that she was planning on coming up here to see me. Which is a rather convient time to bring that up. She did the same thing last time, and no she didn't come, her response was that her and her sister couldn't save up enough money. I just think she has her own life that she's living, and she's only calling me at her convience. I could be wrong though, I dunno. Why has it gone on for this long, I guess it's because we were born with the same thing, and it's the first time I ever met someone else with Goldenhar (we both have it) and yea.

[lolok33]

Sorry, but I just don't see how she can truly "love you" if you two only talk once every week. You guys have never even met each other. People have different personalities on the internet and over the phone than they do in person. You might get along online, but won't in real life.

 

My advice: talk to her as a casual online friend and find a girlfriend who you can actually spend time with in person.

[monkey1]

Yeah, sounds like she just wants to talk to you when she wants and it doesn't sound THAT serious. I mean I'd consider talking once a week not serious, but talking every day, or several times a day fairly serious.

 

And oddly enough, the other day I asked my boyfriend if he thought he loved me before we met and he said no. I felt the same way. He said that he feels you can have strong feelings for someone or like them a lot, but that true love happens more in the flesh.

 

Talk to her and ask her if she seriously wants a relationship and ask yourself the same thing. Otherwise, it's hard to have a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same thing.

[Ixtapa]

I dont believe in loving someone before having actually met them in person either.

You can love "things" about them. You can love the idea of them. You can even think that you are in love with them just because you like the idea of being in love. Being apart tends to emphasize feelings that have no ground in reality. Having a virtual relationship that consists of chatting a couple hours a week cannot compare with actually sharing real time with that person.

 

I'd say if you already have some doubts about her feelings towards you and you do not agree on the amount of time you two should "spend" together online or on the phone it doesnt look too good. This part of the relationship should be fun and easy, before you even think of taking it further in real life...She doesnt seem that interested....maybe she just like the idea of having someone in her life but is not ready for the real thing.

[Sean]

Well I am a total idiot. She's online, but not talking, and this is what it says on her Yahoo account. "I finally found what I am looking for, someone to hold me, who's love is pure." God I just feel so stupid right now.

[Ixtapa]

Wow...that must hurt

She seems to be really insensitive....and immature too...for playing with your feelings by telling you that she loved you when she obviously didn't.

You are much better off without her...