help...trying to move on but 8 month old baby makes it hard

[dealwithit883]

I am going through a very bad break up. My situation is kind of unique because we have an 8 moth old son together. We've been together over 3

years and I still love him very much. I recently left my boyfriend

after I caught him cheating on me. I did not ask him for an explanation. He was caught red-handed.I moved out,took all the furniture and had the utilities disconnected.I am currently living with my parents until my apartment is ready(which is 60 miles away). I have accepted that the relationship is over and there is no cahnce of us ever getting back together. I have decided to move on.It has been soooo hard for me. He is still with that same woman and I live in a very small town so I constantly have to hear "I saw your b/f with some woman". I try not to go out because I don't want to accidentily see them together.I know this woman personally and she will sleep with anyone for money.Whenever I think about him I get sso angry.We have been through so much together. I know the only way to really get over him is to move away and start a new life with just my son and I. So I don't have to see or hear from him for a while. Getting over him will take some time and I need to get away to eliminate any probability of contact. It's been over a month now since I've seen or heard from him. The problem is I'm seeking a child support order so we have to see each other for appointments, which is three days away. I'm afraid that once I see him it will be a set back for me. How do you move on when there is a baby involved? That reminds me of him everyday?

[Smokeycat]

That is such a hard situation, thank you for coming to enotalone for help. Having a baby, no matter what the situation, is hard work. You just have to find how strong of a woman you are. Build up some confidence. This girl that your bf cheated on you with and is now currently with sounds like she's terrible...and if he did such a terrible thing to you he deserves her. Seeing him at the appointments will be hard, but you have to remind yourself you are doing this for your baby. show your baby that you're a great mother and that you love them. Your child can be your strength to get through this tough time. Remember, your baby is not only a part of your ex but is a part of you as well.

[doggyfizzle]

When you can't be with the one you love, learn to love the one that loves you. And remember, one day they will want you, but you wont want him.

[Rain533]

This would be a very hard thing to go through and I commend you for the way that you have handled everything. You are smart for leaveing him and knowing that you are worth more and don't deserve to be treated that way. There are so many women that put up with this instead of having the courage to move on like yourself.

 

Just remember that you have the best part of him and thats your son.

 

There is nothing that you can do to take way that hurt but let it fade with time. I know thats not what you wanted to hear but it is the truth, it just takes time to get over him. You are going to just fine, you sound like a very smart and strong women.

 

As for when you see him at the appointment- look your best, carry your-self with confidence, and know that you deserve sooooo much better then him. ( He knows you do to).

 

I wish you the best of Luck and keep you head up.

[avman]

Its not going to be easy. He's the daddy and it will be better for your child if he is involved. So you won't be able to avoid him completely. Getting angry and disappearing won't help you or your child and probably will get him thinking about how to get out of paying you child support.

 

What you need is a really good support group. Your parents are a really good start. How about your friends? Spend a lot of time with them if you can. If you can hook up with other single moms that will help also. Your county child support office might be able to help you there. Many of them are probably in a similar situation and you can all help each other with babysitting, parenting ideas, and having a good b*tch session about your ex.