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About to do something stupid, oh no!


drninja
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Hey all, many of you probably know my story, but basically my ex and I have been on a "break" for the past month and 2 days. She broke it off because she felt like she needed to sort things out for herself and see what it was like to be independent, but she assured me that it wasn't about seeing other guys and she said she fully planned on getting back together in 2 months tops. Now don't get me wrong, I'm taking all of this with a grain of salt. She said she wanted to remain friends, and I have been doing a form of LC where I only respond if she contacts me first, and this has resulted in 3 weeks of NC. So basically, she just doesn't seem to care.

 

Well, I've been kicking this idea around in my head, and yes I have thought it over for 24 hours. I just wanted to put my thoughts into writing and maybe get some comments before I decide to do something stupid. She's about to turn 18, and starts her senior year of high school tomorrow (I'm a sophomore in college). I've pretty much had enough of thinking with my brain for the time being, and I really want to think with my heart again, because that's the type of person I am. I made her a card in the shape of a graduation cap, and on the inside I wrote her a note giving her some advice for how to make the most of her senior year; things like cherishing her friends, balancing work/play, not sweating the small stuff, etc. In no way does it mention anything about our relationship or my still-strong feelings for her. My plan is to go by her house in the middle of the night on the way back to my apartment and leave it under her windshield wiper blade. I made it because I wanted to show her that even after everything I've been through, I am still the sweet guy she used to know, and I also just wanted to give her a good start to her first day of school.

 

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that this will bring her back. However, giving her space and respecting her wishes has not brought her back either. I have heard from her best friend's brother that she doesn't think we will be getting back together. Ok, fine. It's absolutely devastating, but it's something I will need to accept. I don't expect a response from her at all, and if I get one I expect it to be utter rejection. All the same, I feel like this is my style. I still care about her even after she raked me through the mud (so to speak), and I don't feel like I come off as needy since I do not mention anything about the relationship. So, I don't know. I'm just sick and tired of having to ignore what my heart tells me to do, because I'm a firm believer that following your heart is almost always the way to go.

 

Is it stupid? Maybe. But at this point I feel like I don't have much left to lose.

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I broke up with a guy who then proceeded to leave things on my car.. I didn't like it at all. I actually think the card is a very sweet gesture though. If you want to give it to her, do so in person.. Maybe there are still some items that need to be returned too, I don't know. But if you want to give her the card do so without any expectations and leave it at that.

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Yeah you guys are right, I hadn't really thought of it that way. I used to leave little things on her car when we were together but you're right, everything is different now. I'll just give it to her in person. It's more genuine that way anyway. She's been playing cat and mouse games with me through text messages and I don't want to do the same thing.

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Well she didn't answer her phone, big surprise there. Left a voicemail so if she wants to call back she can. Surprisingly I don't really feel all that bad for practically breaking NC with her. I pretty much swore I wasn't going to cave until she contacted me first, but it's liberating to stop second-guessing myself for a sec and just be real.

 

Here's the card:

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Do follow your heart. Be the person you want to be regardless of the reaction you get from this girl or any other. You love her, that's not wrong. It's very hard to give someone space when you love them.

Be honest with her.

What if everyone just dropped all these NC , LC, leaving cards, etc.. games and talked to each other. And told her how you feel. She may not feel the same way but at least you would be being honest and authentic. Which is far more important than that relationship or any other one.

BE you, trust that that is enough.

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I support that.

I have a lot of input on this, but it's too late at night.

One word though...

Just give her the card with a friendly, caring smile, and go on the rest of the day, or week, knowing you did the right thing for you.

Trust me, she will appreciate the gift more than you will ever believe.

 

Take Care... Back with more later.

 

Oh, and one more thing, Go and Enjoy your day after that. Don't spend all day on here discussing it. You're doing the right thing.

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Well in any case, she ignored my call. I've been friends with my ex's best friend for years (she's on my side), and she told me that the ex is planning on contacting me soon to set everything straight with me and make sure that I fully understand what is going on. I'm wondering if I should just wait for her to get in touch with me at this point. I don't want to ring her phone off the hook, text her, msg her on AIM, show up to her house, etc if she doesn't want to talk to me. I called, left a voicemail, and I'm sure she knows it. Guess I'll just kick back and see what happens.

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