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She doesn't like my facial expression


drum4god
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My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months. We have our ups and downs. I am definitely ahead of her with my feelings, but she is coming on. I love her, and she says she loves me, but I feel like there is a big wall that she has up. Anyway, I found out what that wall is. Its a certain facial expression I make when I express my feelings to her. I know this sounds crazy, but when she showed me the particular facial expression I can understand why she felt unsure. Its hard to explain the expression, but it comes off like a sarcastic "yeah right" or I don't believe a word your saying type of expression. When she shared this I was blown away, because I don't notice it. She told me this was the main reason she is holding back.

 

I told her I would do my best not to do it anymore, but If I don't notice I'm doing it, how can I stop. Anway, does this sound crazy. Do you think this a legit reason to hold back feelings, or is it something else. She even said that, she goes from wanting to rip my clothes off, to being turned off. This is nuts, but I don't know what to do

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Hmm... sounds to me that it would be easier for her to learn to accept that that exprression doesn't mean what she thinks it does when you use it than for you to overcome years of instinct. I don't know... while it may be true on her part, if it's affecting her feelings for you like you say it does, I tend to think there might be something deeper.

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I think it's a good sign when a woman tells you something like that, it means that she want you BOTH to work on it and clear it up.

Also, when a woman tells a man what and how she feels, she has already been dealing with it and thinks that by bringing it up and by telling her man, she is attempting to this to work out and to stop feeling like this. It is the reason why she told you in the first place.

 

Yes there might be something deeper but she IS working on it, you can be sure of that if nothing else.

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You may be right, but lets be real. If your boyfriend pours out his feelings to you, and then follows up with an expression that says I don't mean what I say, or an expression that suggest that you are a sucker for believing me. Wouldn't you feel a little apprehensive. My girlfriend also has been hurt by men before, and they sold her the bill of goods. I don't know if I can blame her.

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Your facial expression has nothing to do with her holding back. It's all in the way you're acting, and I'm pretty sure the way you react to her ex-bf's constant contact has something to do with it. It sounds like you're pretty passive about it. Like if a chick wants to talk about her ex for a second in the flow of a conversation, ok fine. But if she made it a point to complain about him to me, I'd light her up. The ex has nothing to do with me and everything that happened in that previous relationship is none of my fault, so the chick better get over it or this is going to be short lived with me.

 

Looking at your previous posts, your gf seems to have control of the relationship and this is a big turn off. It is boring and I fear that the issues that caused the break up will resurface and lead to another split.

 

Lemme ask you this, when she made that comment about your facial expression, you seemed very eager not to offend her and change your ways to make her happy. But wasn't there a small part of you that wanted to say "**** you, stop being so judgemental of me"? Why do you surpress these kinds of feelings? It's because you don't want to make her upset, and only want her to be happy, but understand that handling things this way have other side effects and lead to the problems that you're encountering right now.

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We learn to interpret expressions at a young age, and still have an ability to re-learn. She should realize your expression is merely the way your facial muscles react to a certain feeling. She should be able to learn what it means coming from you.

 

Some friends have had strokes that changed their expressions, and I learned their new "facial vocabularies."

 

I hope your gf can do the same.

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